...is from 350AD and looks like a bottle of sludge. (To save you a click.)
It is a bottle of sludge.
The answer to "why Hack" needs to be viewed in the historical context of "when Hack" and what was happening (or not) in the php ecosystem at that time.
Things have changed a lot since, in terms of performance, language longevity, ecosystem etc. Its a perfectly reasonable language to adopt for many orgs.
2000 kilocalorie converts to 8.3 megajoules. This should be the amount of energy consumed per day.
8.3 megajoules / 24 hours is 96 watts. This should be the average rate of energy expediture.
96 watts * 20% is 19 watts. This should be the portion your brain uses out of that average.
96 watts * 24 hours is 464 watthours. This should be the average amount of energy your brain uses in a day.
This is why I've never found "AI" to be particularly competitive with human beings. The level of energy efficiency that our brains operate at is amazing. Our electrical and computer engineering is several orders of magnitude out from the achievements of nature and biology.