Ask HN: What's your greatest enjoyment in life?

I will be tad shameless & mundane: I don't enjoy working after 9-6. No great intellectual side hobbies to burn the midnight oil. For me, two things give a lot of bliss:

1. Watching a new interesting show or a re-run on Netflix, sipping a cup of coffee (or having a few drags of vape occasionally).

2. Going on a long aimless drive with country music, and stopping somewhere along the coastline to enjoy the view of sea or ships sailing at a distance.

I don't have kids or pets. Living in Japan. The horrors of everyday dealing with GCP/AWS & Japanese office regimen needs occasional quenching by solitude.

tjpnz · 4 years ago

I too live in Japan. You don't have to put up with the Japanese office regimen if you don't like it. My last and current roles have been at Japanese companies and I've been able to WFH for both. No guarantee you'll be able to rid yourself of GCP/AWS though.

kairozu · 4 years ago

This! Also live in Japan & work for a domestic company w/friendly work culture (no dress code, WFH common, flex time). Definitely look for something new if you’re not happy.

uwagar · 4 years ago

what is GCP/AWS?

hbarka · 4 years ago

I’d love to hear more. This sounds good to me. How did you end up in Japan?

srvmshr · 4 years ago

> How did you end up in Japan?

Quite simple. US became a nightmare towards the end.

As an immigrant grad student without much means, I couldn't support myself long. After my advisor cut off funding, I tried finding a job. I didn't have money to pay the bills soon after & US job process was getting long & convoluted with internal referrals, pointless rounds of interviews, HR meetings. I needed money to feed myself - I was skipping some meals to save money.

I had self respect not to work at a gas-station illegally or at one of the asian IT sweatshops by falsifying my CV. Japan government offered me funding at University of Tokyo & I grabbed the offer. Finished my PhD in CS with that opportunity. It has been 6 years and counting.

Here is one thing though: I earn comfortable now. But the trauma of poverty never leaves you. Even though I work in CS/ML, my life is pretty austere. I stick to the 'needs', and avoid the 'wants' as much as possible. Maybe it will take some years - or maybe these habits won't go. The one thing I never wish for anyone is hunger. Once you have lived through it, you won't want to be in that position ever again.

metabro · 4 years ago

I’m assuming you aren’t Japanese based on your Other comments. How has dating and your social life been in Japan.

srvmshr · 4 years ago

Oof, that's the one thing I was hoping to avoid answering. But since you asked I will be honest:

I dated three women in past 5 years. The first, a dentist of same nationality as me. She was caught cheating with her senior. It was a body blow because I was an inch away from marrying her. The second was 7-8 years younger than me, and she left me when she moved to NY. It was unceremonious & rude, and given that I came to know about her new status from mutual friends rather than herself, it was bitterly humiliating.

I met a wonderful person - a local - while discussing music. We have been married for sometime now. We are not from the same field. That reduces friction & gives some opportunity for different perspective on work-life. No children yet but that's okay.

Social life is otherwise fine. I have a core set of friends, which I can count with my fingers. We meet up weekly & have dinner, usually on Fridays.

Being in the zone, whatever form it might take.

To me, the zone is any situation that makes the baseline pain of being alive go away (there's too much to unpack here, so I won't).

Things that can bring me in the zone:

* Riding my Honda CB750F, especially without a destination, just moving through the world in this raw, old-fashioned way liberates my mind and puts me at such ease.

* Coding something I like.. Again it's not entirely the destination that matters, it's the journey, the work itself that changes my focus from the mundane to the creative.

* Listening to great music while doing almost anything, including not doing anything.

* Watching a movie or tv show with my wife or a friend.

* Creating something, art or invention or utilitarian object, changing my environment to suit me.

* Unstructured time to myself with no immediate tasks that has to be done, so that I can entirely let go of any thought and just drift, having no plans whatsoever.. This is probably my favourite thing in the world, but also most difficult for me to achieve..

anoy8888 · 4 years ago

I am surprised sex is not in the list . You can certainly be in the zone while having sex

dusted · 4 years ago

Sure, I find sex enjoyable, and surely I can get in the zone, but it's a relatively short time an hour at the very best and most of the time shorter, combined with being physically (and mentally somewhat) exhausting and takes some preparation both before and after, it's not a top contender for enjoyable activities for me.

Sure, it's an intense burst of pleasure, but I'd not want to spend 4-5 hours per day doing it, and time is definitely an important component for me, if I can do something for a long time and enjoy that time, that's like an enjoyment multiplier for me, I want something nice and to be in that nice place as long as I can.

agent008t · 4 years ago

Sex is very different to the activities he listed. His activities are all about feelings of calm focus, flow, almost meditative joy. You feel pleasantly recharged at the end of it.

Sex is usually very different and all about dopamine-like immediate intense pleasure, excitement, adrenaline. You can build dopamine tolerance and start needing more for the same 'kick'. Afterwards you can end up feeling more low than before due to a dopamine 'valley'. Then there is also the 'Coolidge effect'.

I suspect very different neurotransmitters are involved.

In other words, to exaggerate: the feeling of being in the zone you get from 'repairing stuff' is as similar to the feeling from sex, as the enjoyment of practicing calligraphy or meditation or tai chi is similar to taking heroin.

pastacacioepepe · 4 years ago

Too obvious, maybe overrated after all.

spansoa · 4 years ago

> Being in the zone

> This is probably my favourite thing in the world, but also most difficult for me to achieve

Came here to say this. For me I have to coax creativity and serendipity, it doesn't happen naturally. Action precedes motivation.

jmrm · 4 years ago

It's funny to me how I have about the same things than you. Changing your Honda to a mountain bike, and also adding "repairing things to prevent trashing it", and I would have my list.

dusted · 4 years ago

Wow, actually, I should add MTB, but I've not had the energy/time the past two years, but I used to do a lot, we have a technical track nearby and that really puts me in the zone too, the gratification of achieving combined with the focus of not getting yourself killed..

Also, repairing stuff is something I absolutely love too! I forgot about that one. Even if I can't restore it to 100%, but often I can, and put my own spin on it, and it's very satisfying.

One day in the pavilion at Karakorum he asked an officer of the Mongol guard what, in all the world, could bring the greatest happiness. "The open steppe, a clear day, and a swift horse under you," responded the officer after a little thought, "and a falcon on your on your wrist to start up hares." "Nay," responded the Khan, "to crush your enemies, to see them fall at your feet -- to take their horses and goods and hear the lamentation of their women. That is best."

Schnitz · 4 years ago

Anything where I can be a beginner again and experience the thrill of discovery. Doing something for the first time and together with someone that’s good at it and is happy to share their knowledge is so awesome.

As I get older I realize I have to keep switching it up. So one year it’s suddenly road cycling and I did 1000 miles in a year after doing probably 10 miles combined during the 10 years before. Also learned about bike maintenance as a part of that. Then 2-3 years after it happened to be mountain biking, lots of new skills to acquire there. Similar story with competitive video games, after not touching them for a decade or more I immersed myself in Valorant for a year and learned as much as I could about tactical FPS. Then 2 years after I switched from reading only 1-4 non-fiction books per year to reading several novels in a month. It’s odd, if you asked me 10 years ago I had a clear favorite video game, movie, hobby etc like “I’m a soccer guy” or “I love LOTR” - nowadays it’s weird, the excitement for things I’ve done often in the past is getting less and unless I make sure I find new pursuits it gets boring.

peanut-walrus · 4 years ago

To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

alluro2 · 4 years ago

I was reading the other comments, rather seriously, reflecting, and got completely ambushed by your comment - actually LOLed hard - thank you :)

schappim · 4 years ago

Source (Conan The Barbarian: What is best in life...?): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XUu3_pLPUE

Sukotto · 4 years ago

Screenwriters for "Conan the Barbarian" (1982) might have got it from Part 2, Chapter XI of "Genghis Khan The Emperor Of All Men" by H. Lamb (1936).

https://archive.org/details/genghiskhantheem035122mbp/page/n...

Deleted Comment

voisin · 4 years ago

Related: to see their cities reduced to ashes.

afarrell · 4 years ago

Looking at the photos of Mariupol or old photos of Tokyo and Dresden, I just feel sorrow.

hello chengiz khan

jaredcwhite · 4 years ago

Reference acknowledged.

Dead Comment

qgin · 4 years ago

When someone I care about has a problem and I’m able to fix it. Nothing else feels quite as awesome or meaningful.

Conversely, nothing else feels quite as terrible as when someone I care about has an unfixable problem.

swayvil · 4 years ago

How about when the job is bs? Like, they don't really need it, but they want it, and the whole process will be an excessive mess and expense, and they are definitely laying a foundation for future suffering, but their mind is set.

Ah, I think I’m talking more about helping friends and family and the like. Usually I can avoid helping with anything I think is going to be harmful in the long term.

spaceman_2020 · 4 years ago

Cliche, but good family time. Nothing beats a weekend where all my cousins, nieces and nephews are together. Its particularly fun now when all my cousins and siblings have kids and they’re all under four. It gets chaotic but also so much fun

D13Fd · 4 years ago

This really is the best. It’s hard to describe why, but for me it’s some combination of freedom (from work and some childcare), nostalgia (from reliving old times), catching up, and just general family time.

puranjay · 4 years ago

Reckon some of it is also a sense of safety and security. I trust this group deeply and know they always have my back.

And of course with all the toddlers around, its just all around adorableness everywhere

aklemm · 4 years ago

Also perhaps the sense that a good future is being built for the younger ones.

sboomer · 4 years ago

You can go and live in the woods enjoying your solitude, but there is always that part in your heart that needs to be filled with being around loving human beings.

efxhoy · 4 years ago

Easy one for me. Dancing to reggae music in front of a very good sound system. It's a fantastic sensation. Your entire body vibrating, compelling you to move in harmony with everyone else in the dance. It's the closest to a religious experience I ever get.

This video pretty much sums it up: https://youtu.be/AvKTMv4E09Y?t=99 Yes you need ear plugs.

Nexxxeh · 4 years ago

Similar for me, but Drum & Bass or (nu-)metal. And most definitely seconding good earplugs.

Metal gigs with good moshpits and great crowds... If someone falls over, three people are hauling them back up onto their feet. Everyone looks out for each other.

Skindred do the "Newport Helicopter" where everyone removes an item of clothing and swings it around their head. Slipknot do a thing where everyone crouches down and then jumps up at the same time. It sounds stupid, but the whole crowd, already buzzing, exploding in unison is amazing.

Some of my gig buddies have tinnitus because they didn't look after their hearing though. Always earplugs.

marssaxman · 4 years ago

For me it's all about goa trance, but I think the idea must be the same. Dancing is a sacrament in my nonexistent religion; I respect you as a co-practicioner from a different denomination :-)

minikomi · 4 years ago

Yep. When the vibes, sound system, tune and drop hit just right...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UxY5LonBIc&t=86

khaledh · 4 years ago

Having a meeting I don't like get cancelled.

utucuro · 4 years ago

This implies that there are meetings you actually like...

khazhoux · 4 years ago

This is the dream we live for.

boredemployee · 4 years ago

damn what a dream.