Turns out there're many incorrect implementations of Happy Eyeballs that cancel the ipv4 connection attempts after the timeout, and then switch to trying the AAAA records and subsequently throwing a "Cannot reach host" error. For context, in Happy Eyeballs you're supposed to continue trying both network families in parallel.
This only impacts our customers who live far away from the region they're accessing, however, and there's usually a workaround - in Node you can force the network family to be v4 for instance
I'd treat this in a client the same way as I do in a server application. If the peer is behaving maliciously or improperly, I silently drop the TCP connection without notifying the other party. They can waste their resources by continuing to send bytes for the next few minutes until their own TCP stack realizes what happens.
Additionally, it's not going to be using that many resources before your kernel sends it a RST next time a data packet is sent