Jbird2k (u/Jbird2k) - Readit News

Jbird2k commented on Ask HN: How to be alone? · Posted by u/sillysaurusx

nlavezzo · 6 days ago

Having spent several years unexpectedly alone after a big breakup in my mid twenties, I'd also highly recommend getting involved in a church, even if it's just to serve others in some practical way organized by the church. Most churches have plenty of need in "care" ministries like bringing meals (and conversation) to people who are homebound, or in the hospital. One cool thing our church does is organize volunteers to help with teaching English as a second language to refugees living in our community.

Do enough of these kinds of things and not only will you connect with those you serve, but also with those serving others out of love. These are good people to be connected to, especially since you'll become more like them over time.

Jbird2k · 5 days ago

Absolutely. I have one friend who also goes out and does stuff on his own. Not things organized by the church we attend. He volunteers at a soup kitchen every Sunday. Honestly there are so many things you can do to help others. I find this is the best way to get out of the self pity loneliness loop. Help others and make yourself a benefit to society. It gives us purpose and you gain more than you give typically.

Jbird2k commented on Ask HN: How to be alone? · Posted by u/sillysaurusx

Jbird2k · 6 days ago

I’ve been alone since about 20. I am 26 now and have been renting a room from someone who is in a similar state as myself. We mostly do our own thing but it’s nice to have others around. Something I learned was necessary when living alone was to have connections with people. I am religious and belong to a church the social connection there was critical to my survival as an individual. I had friends who were in multiple stages of life. I would try to spend time with others multiple times a week.

On Thursday’s I would spend time with my friend who’s in his 60s. I might help him fix some shelves or his furnace or whatever in exchange for a meal with him and his wife. We would play a few rounds of pickle ball or go for a bike ride in the evening and then we would sit around and talk.

I had a few other friendships like this. One family where I would spend a lot of time. The children where in their teens and I was friends with them and the parents they treated me as a bit of a son. It was good. I have since moved to a different community and have a very social job now so it’s not as crucial that I make such deliberate efforts to spend time with others.

So my advice is this make deliberate effort to spend time with people. Find people to spend time with involve yourself in their lives. Humans are social we all need some interaction and you can be an asset to others while helping yourself.

Too much time alone will absolutely destroy your mental state. Well it did mine. I have my friends to thank for taking care of me.

I should note many people rely on family for this sort of stuff. I don’t have family close geographically.

Jbird2k commented on Do things that don't scale, and then don't scale derwiki.medium.com/do-thi... · Posted by u/derwiki

godot · 7 months ago

> Could it be bigger? Sure. But at some point — maybe even before 1,000 people — the vibe breaks. The intimacy evaporates. You stop recognizing names. People talk less because it’s harder to know who’s listening. Growth would make it worse, not better. > > Some things work precisely because they’re small.

I'd argue this is true for social networks like Facebook actually. There was a magical period in Facebook between 2005 to 2010 or so where it was mostly college friends, high school friends, some work friends, and we all actually shared what we thought on our posts, shared links to interesting stuff, etc.

When all the relatives started being added to your network the vibe became decidedly different, and then acquaintances, people who aren't close, etc. and everyone has that one experience where one time they post something and someone who isn't close get offended, whether it's political or not, and they gradually share less and less.

Jbird2k · 7 months ago

Telegram is a platform where you can connect with people on a small scale

Jbird2k commented on I accidentally became PureGym’s unofficial Apple Wallet developer drobinin.com/posts/how-i-... · Posted by u/valzevul

Jbird2k · 7 months ago

Wallet is spelled incorrectly under subheading “The Swift backend nobody asked for”