In the last year, I lost my mother (cancer), my grandmother (old age), and went through a divorce. I spiraled into depression, ended up living out of my car, barely functioning.
But I didn’t stay down. Through therapy, ketamine treatment, and building my own AI-assisted mental health tools (ChatGPT literally saved me), I’ve come out stronger, healthier, and ready to rebuild. My mental health is solid now—I’ve done the inner work.
Here’s my situation:
I’m living in my car, staying in cheap motels when I can afford it.
I drive Lyft/Uber full-time, but my car needs new tires, insurance renewal, and a payment due—without it, I can’t work. $400 for tires, $200 for insurance, $290 for car payment..
I have a desktop computer but nowhere stable to set it up and work.
I’m going back to school soon for computer science, aiming for AI/ML work, but I need to survive until student aid or inheritance (both delayed) arrives.
Here’s my question: What would YOU do in my situation to break the cycle? How can I create a stable base, get back to programming/freelancing, and stop just surviving?
I’m willing to work. I know I can earn 3-4x more doing freelance tech, but I can’t do that from a car.
I’ve thought about renting office space, finding roommates, even setting up a GoFundMe, but I need actionable ideas, not just hope.
How do I climb out of this? What programs, jobs, or options are out there for someone like me who’s got skills, drive, but no resources?
Any advice, ideas, or help you can give—I’m all ears. I’ve rebuilt my mind. Now I just need a stable place to rebuild my life. It's hard feeling constantly like I'm in quick sand and the rope is 5 inches too far away.
I'm in Southern Utah (St George), willing to relocate to SLC area or Las Vegas, I just need to stay local for my kids...4 hour radius from southern Utah.
Get a better job, that can get you stable housing. I don’t know the job market in your area, but try looking for temp agencies. They will do a basic interview and help you find something that uses your existing skills. Until you get stable housing and your basic needs met, focus on what you can do with the skills you have now.
Seconding what others said about going to the library. In my community they serve almost as social workers, and have lists of places like food banks that can help you until you have better employment. Your county will also have resources for you; you can get on the waiting list for housing vouchers (they’re years long, but just in case), get food stamps, get leads for programs local to you.
Yes, it’s possible to end up with a tech job. There’s a big gap between where you are now and there, though, and having stability in the short term will help you get there.
I also fucked up because of taxes many times and just recently a big bad "surprise" hit me. But it's not like it was not my failure of responsibility.
Great advice all around, but I'll emphasize this part. SNAP is becoming a de facto indicator of eligibility for all sorts of programs, from reduced price transit passes to Medicaid, depending on the state.
https://switchpointcrc.org/ is local to you with food, shelter, etc.
More info from a gov source: https://sgcityutah.gov/business_detail_T18_R270.php
https://switchpointcrc.org/how-to-get-help/
The local access points to the coordinated entry system provide the assessment, information and referrals, and other resources to the person seeking housing.
Stop by or call for more information 948.N 1300 W. St. George, Utah 84770. 435-628-9310
Unfortunately, the tech market is not great right now, and I think remote freelance rates are fairly low right now. But, in your situation, you can probably offer very competitive rates while still building up some savings. Once you have some savings (six months to 1 year is usually the recommendation), it gives you a lot of margin of safety, and you can reduce your usage of the government assistance.
And 211: https://211utah.org/, 888-826-9790. They also have chat and text capability. 211 is "the most comprehensive source of local resources and services in Utah."
OP, good luck.
If you're interested and want to drop a way to contact you, I'll figure out a way to ship it to you. Otherwise, as much as I loathe sending you to Facebook, the local "buy nothing" groups another commentor recommended sounds like a good place to start.
Good luck!
https://faq.usps.com/s/article/What-is-General-Delivery
Sounds like you know how to survive, which is perfect… here’s what you do. Ditch uber/lyft and get your CDL. They’ll pay you and train you and give you a job. Plus, you get a nice sleeper truck to sleep in that’s more spacious than your car. (If you have the cash, an RV works instead)
Take the income you make and pay off all your debts using the snowball method. If you don’t have debts, use that money for classes/school/training to get back into the field you want to be in. 6 months to a year and you’re back on your feet, apartment, furniture, money in your pocket, a future to look forward to.
Stay strong.
Deleted Comment
“Define:CDL”
Where I’m from at least, commercial drivers license fills the first two pages.
I would start by getting in touch with extended family, friends, and anyone who trusts me enough to lend me a couch. Then I would make sure that my footprint on said couch was as small as possible. (IE, I'd make sure not to leave a mess.) Finally, I'd be very open about my search for employment so they're constantly assured that I'm actively working on becoming self-sufficient.
For example, my cousin divorced her husband and put a restraining order on him. He ended up moving in with his first wife while he gets his life back together.
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Assuming someone I know was in a similar situation, my ability to lend them my couch mostly depends on the risk they bring into my household. In the past, I avoided a college friend because he became a heroin addict. I'd give my nieces and nephews a lot of leeway in this situation; and the same for my cousins' children. Older cousins and adult friends would require closer understanding of the situation.
I would seek to understand if alcohol, drugs, (or other vices like video games) contributed to the situation. Substance abuse is not something I want around my family, and it's not something I'm comfortable helping someone else manage.
Get a job that’s not freelance u til you have a home. Restaurant, retail, mechanic shop, whatever that gives you a w4 and a group of people that aren’t assholes.
Reasons: looks good when signing a lease
Likely to get some sort of health insurance I think? I had it in all my w4s in the US. Group of people to start interacting with, you never know what comes out of that. I think out of the options given, retail is the worse for that, but may give you access to bigger companies.
After hours you can do thumbtack like IT for people at home that don’t want to to go geek squad. Old ladies, whatever. I built a pretty decent group when I was younger and it paid pretty well with very low mental effort.
The car is never a good investment unless you work on it yourself. A DIY oil change is $37, at the shop 120 in my area. If you’re living in a car you can’t afford that, so start thinking about dropping uber and Lyft when you can. You could get some used tires for now, otherwise I wouldn’t buy anything but the cheapest Walmart tire.
Sell your desktop. Put it on fb marketplace, get something out of it. You can get a working laptop for almost nothing, unless your pc is ultra undesirable.
Reach out to recycling places, explain your situation, they ,might give you one at cost. If not, eBay, fb.
Take care of your body and looks. Shave, shower, trim your nails, comb your hair or just get a buzz cut, don’t tell people you live in your car unless you’re close to them. Back in Florida $10 at planet fitness or whatever it was called would get you access to a shower and you could also do some exercise that’s good for the mind and the body, maybe there is something like that near you.y
2. Sell or trade in the desktop for a laptop. Portability and space is your friend. Join a local Facebook "buy nothing" group, and ask for a trade or someone's spare old laptop. Any mobility improvement is a win.
3. Immediately make a free account for Salesforce's Trailhead program https://trailhead.salesforce.com/ and start learning everything you can. Badges can be added to your linkedin, and you should go heavy down the path of force.com development if you can.
4. Once you have a few badges, polish up your linkedin (and resume) and start spamming recruiters for salesforce positions.
The ERP/CRM world pays very well but almost all platforms have a stupidly high barrier to entry, EXCEPT Salesforce. You could have a $100k/yr job in a few months if you follow this path, and then branch out to Oracle or NetSuite or SAP from here.
edits (consolidating advice here for posterity):
I should add that ERP/CRM consulting is largely remote friendly and your prospective employers/consulting firms will probably not give a rip where you live. They never did for me.
Find a coworking space (NOT a chain one like WeWork) in your town. Talk to the owner and explain your situation, ask for a month or two discount while you get your bearings and attend every meetup they have or know about. Meet everyone, tell your story, share your skills. A small community will help take care of you in ways a Chamber of Commerce chapter will not.
If you are not religious, look for an Oddfellows chapter. They may be a resource to you in a similar way as a church congregation.
And if you have skills but they are outdated, you're now competing with every unemployed junior, fresh grad, and old coder on the market. Update your skill set, and ideally focus on skills that are in higher demand and with higher barrier to entry or with a captive audience/market. Differentiating will help with jobseeking.
For extra side income, attend garage/yard/rummage sales and focus on books. Books are great to flip, because you can immediately appraise the quality, scan the ISBN number to find the going rate, and only buy it to flip if it's worth enough.
Since you're in Utah, I'm going to suggest you find a bishop to ask for help. Even if you don't belong to the LDS church, I _think_ they might be able to help you out. Go to https://maps.churchofjesuschrist.org/ and find a church service to go to on a Sunday morning, and before/after the meeting, try to figure out who is the bishop/counselors and tell them your situation. It may depend on who you get, in which case you can always try other wards/buildings/areas.
Good luck!
https://www.ccsutah.org/
It's a Catholic agency, but they're agnostic, in that being Catholic is not a prerequisite and they won't ask about religion or try to convert you. It's a case of walking in the door of their premises and asking for help, or picking up the phone and talking to them.