My day consists of making a coffee, joining the morning stand up call at 7:30 and then grinding through the day until it’s 17:00. I leave the apartment to buy couple of beers not enough to get me wasted but enough to get me numb.
This repeats every single day. I cant get rest. At all. I am a prisoner in my apartment.Every little noise makes me realize that there is no way I can rest at home.
I have not met my parents for a year now. They say I should.That this pandemic is fake and they are not scared.
They do know this pandemic is real but dont care anymore. Staying at home all day and not meeting with anyone is not life worth living.
I had been tested for covid 20 times already. Some cheap AGs some expensive PCRs. I had to do it because the government said I had to. I never had any symptoms. Never met with anyone at all.For some tests I had to pay myself.I can still afford it. Still. But for how long?
I keep hearing how we just have to wait a little longer. How a bunch of private corporations will make this go away.
Unless maybe it wont go away because there is a new strain because we have waited too long to roll out the vaccines.
I am ready to take my life back. No matter what happens next I am not, nor my parents are,going to live like this.
Whatever it takes I am taking my life back.
My advice would be quit testing yourself and get out there. I have been eating at restaurants all year with friends. we go 2x a week. None of us have been sick. That's a lot of exposure - if one thought that restaurants were a risk.
Go see your friends and live your life. Sure - wear a mask and wash your hands and be respectful of those who are fearful or at risk (like elderly) but go out. You will be fine.
It sounds like you are measuring the risk of not going out of your apartment. That's hard to quantify but certainly should not be minimized.
This is precisely the reason Covid is such a real menace: if it had more equal death rate impacts, I suspect we'd have seen far tighter restrictions to bring it under control, and far better adherence to public health advice.
Instead, Covid is one giant negative externality pushed to the margins.
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I've got to say, my mother was on the frontlines of COVID during the first lockdown.
It's so weird to think after risking her life, stressing over insufficient PPE, worrying that she'd make my father sick, scares over the slightest cough... that there's people like this, who are still in this bizarre world where "it's just a flu".
I mean to me this:
> yes someone out there will say their situation was bad - but the vast majority of those with Covid it was not bad
Do you comprehend what it's like when it does end up being bad? Have you seen what people dying from COVID actually look like? I still get stressed out just recalling a video that showed a patient with COVID in a hospital hallway taking these horrible rapid short breaths that didn't seem to be doing anything for them.
What you described is why COVID is so deadly to society as a whole. The people it "barely affects" get off with a flu (and often some lifetime complications but that's a special treat for later when we start seeing the long term effects of an inflamed heart) and the "few" it affects end up being massive drains on our healthcare system. Then the people who end up between those two extremes end up with a less prepared healthcare system and so on...
I found myself driving much more carefully post-COVID the times that I have because if I get in a serious accident something tells me the standard of care is not going to be near where it normally is....
Of course, the same people who talk tough like this and think "oh well if I get COVID just let me die! I probably won't die from it anyways!" are inevitably some of the same people who end up fighting for their lives in dark rooms alone regretting everything that lead them there...
Without knowing your local restrictions, do everything you’re allowed to, safely. If you can create a COVID bubble, or just hang out outdoors in some manner with others, that would help me in your situation.
Have you considered moving to one of the tropical islands that’s advertising itself as a good place to hide out during this time? That might be a desperate move but if you’re desperate maybe it’s the right thing to do.
I don’t know your solution but I do know this is difficult, and it sucks.
Link? I'd be interested depending on the costs (same situation as the OP).
Curious however: how one intends to take one's life back when most other people are staying home and, at least where I live, nothing is open....
And I'm not saying that as a backhanded insult.
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