Like many places, my job values dishonest harmony over honest conflict. The priority is always compromise and getting along, which results in design by committee, tons of wasted time, and generally low quality output. Of course, they don't say this explicitly, but actions speak louder than words.
I'm not in a place where I can leave my current job, and I realize that this is prevalent basically everywhere.
The issue is, I find myself essentially constantly walking on eggshells, unsure of when the situation calls for directness vs. being agreeable at all costs. This constantly delays projects and saps my energy, which negatively impacts the company, my career, and my happiness.
Are there any books HN can recommend that discuss this at high level? I'm not expecting a solution — but I'm hoping there is reading material out there that will help me understand and navigate this better.
* Management: A political activity by Ted Stephenson. For some reason, most people are not aware of this book. Deals with Power, Conflict, Bargaining, Compromise, Participation and Change. The opening line of the preface states "This book presents the view that management is substantially a political activity, based on power and characterized by conflict". Since we are dealing with Human organisms this is absolutely the right approach to take.
* The Empowered Manager: Positive Political Skills at Work by Peter Block is also good but more idealistic. But be aware that trying to be/do good does not guarantee reciprocation.
* The Complete Upmanship: Including Gamesmanship, Lifemanship, One-upmanship and Supermanship by Stephen Potter. Humourous, but a great deal of life advice in it. Basically, how to put down other people and show yourself in the best light using "genteel" psychological means.
* Behavior Modification: Principles and Procedures by Raymond Miltenberger. ABA psychology course textbook which is a must read.
* Brainwashing: The science of thought control by Kathleen Taylor. The title is bit sensationalist, but the content is very relevant.
Some workplaces value consensus and some workplaces value correctness.
Sound about right?
Unfortunately there's nothing you can do to change the culture.
Instead of trying to change or deal with or adapt to culture, ask pointed questions about correctness vs consensus culture during the interview.
EDIT: One book to suggest is Survival of the Savvy: High-Integrity Political Tactics for Career and Company Success
I’m struggling to see when this wouldn’t be the case in any form of modern conflict management.
As far as to how you deal with weak leadership leading to design by committee? You probably don’t, unless it’s your job to do so.
There isn’t really a lot of literature on this subject aimed at employees trying to lead up-wards, but any sort of team-management literature will cover it.
There is a big difference between conflict management, and leading a team in a design process though. They really don’t relate on any level. If “you’re” entering design by committee, then “you’re” not using “your” resources correctly, “you’re” not defining the direction or goal and “you’re” not making decisions. Note that “you” is the person in charge and this persons manager, but there is typically very little people, who are not in charge can do, to successfully change that. Conflict by contrast is how you resolve disagreements, and in interpersonal conflict you’ll always want to seek compromise and figuring out how to get along. In design processes, you’ll want a team leader to take charge and pick whatever input is most likely to achieve the projects goals.
I wouldn’t worry about conflict though. It’s a natural part of life. Be honest and be assertive but be polite and pick your battles wisely. If whatever it is that is being mismanaged isn’t actually your responsibility, then you don’t actually have to care. Even if you can’t change your job right now, it’ll be healthier for you, if you stay true to yourself and don’t carry any weight they don’t pay you to carry.
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Really good read, and has Jim Collins and Robert Cialdini singing its praises (check the back flap on amazon) if you need bona fides