1) If everyone else seems like a jerk, maybe you're the jerk. Hard for anyone here to know. I've been the jerk before, happens to all of us. Not everyone stops being the jerk.
2) Sounds like you don't vibe with the culture around feedback, and you're early career. Maybe look around seeking a strong culture of direct feedback as a positive thing you're seeking to help you grow. Seems like a great way to spend your questions at the end of a couple interview panels.
I do not understand what you're trying to say with your "have your cake and eat it too". It reads like you frown upon people being more productive when working at homes and thus you somehow think it's a good idea to punish them for it.
Just as a general rule in conversation, invoking so-and-so's law or this fence isn't a productive tactic. Instead, ask the question that wisdom suggests you ask, and for this bothersome fence in particular, keep in mind that you are weighing an unidentified consequence against a proposed benefit, and at least endeavor to expend some of your own effort on suggesting what the value of the fence might be or how one might go about finding it. You may find some of that effort has been undertaken and that failure has not been shared.
I haven't seen folks make the change in formal role. I have seen folks take on the role, and I've taken it on myself (not my fave) with moderate success to make things happen.
Biggest advice: support the people in producing good outcomes, any processes should serve that. But the people create the outcomes, the process is a disposable tool.