> People hate small talk because it avoids [vulnerability]. The purpose of social conversation is to connect but talking about the weather or the latest sportz ball result reveals sh!t.
I’m a defender of small talk. It’s the MVP of connection; you are at least talking to another person, mutual acknowledgement. It’s where relationships begin. It’s where you and the other can safely feel out the space of shared values and what’s top of mind: sports? Work? Family?
Oversharing is perhaps defined as sharing too much too soon, when you should still be doing small talk.
Sometimes people say they hate small talk but complain of the difficulty of making friends. Start by learning how to have light conversations. Keep talking. Depth comes naturally with time.
Conversations should be progressive over time, as this builds trust and support over a given period of time
This is something I am learning as a late bloomer in life, as I didnt have too many friends more so business acquaintances growing up
The hardest lessons I hace learned though is during major life transitions - sometimes you are off on your own, you have to manage that transition yourself and cannot rely on anyone in particular through it
Friendships require work but sometimes they arent on equal terms either, and when things shift away that created that strong bond to begin with, people drift apart. Thats something that is hard to cope with, that sense of loss in wanting that nostaglic connection again