I felt sad for her father's death but then didn't make it through the great length with which she talked about a cat that you knew was going to be dead anyways.
Readit Newsjiggybling commented on The Strangeness of Grief (2019) newyorker.com/magazine/20... · Posted by u/iafisher
jiggybling commented on Most STEM grads don't work in STEM jobs tampabay.com/opinion/2024... · Posted by u/DamnInteresting
I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe.
My company has approximately 1,000 open positions for engineers. Not "build a website" or "use AI to sell ads" engineer but "build a TX tuner for spaceborne synthetic aperture radar from scratch" engineer.
We don't grant massive quantities of stock as part of a get rich quick lottery scheme, but I make over 3x the current US annual household income in an area where a 4 bedroom house on an acre and a half is $400k and that's enough. Anyone who thinks that isn't enough is crazy-- sociopathic, even.
Maybe there's not a shortage of biology and IT skills and coding bootcamp grads but there is a shortage of people who took, and paid attention in, a linear algebra class.
There is 100%, irrefutably, undoubtedly, unquestionably, a shortage of engineers. Actual engineers not "use AI to sell crypto ads" engineers.
What's your company and how can you get experience in this kind of engineering?
jiggybling commented on Writing down unfiltered thoughts enhances self-knowledge scientificamerican.com/ar... · Posted by u/elorant
I have a pretty strong natural filter. Years of therapy and three different therapists have yet to get me to a place where I can truly open up, even when writing on a page I know no-one else will see.
Two days ago I did weed for the first time. I accidentally took a much larger hit than I meant to. For the first 15 minutes I had a complete out-of-body experience; nothing seemed real, I felt like I was floating through space, able to peer into reality at will, still not quite trusting that it wasn't all a dream. I'm pretty sure the term of art for what I experienced would be a psychotic episode.
After that... I lost my filter. Like, it was gone. And my mouth was a conveyor belt connected to the emotional part of my brain. No logic, just uninhibited speech, for 45 minutes, all while sobbing harder than I have in my entire life.
I exposed every last deep, dark secret I possessed. My fear of never being good enough. My fear that everyone in my life will leave me at some point. My fear that I've done so many hurtful things over my life that I'm unworthy of love and of the friends I have. And many more things I won't be sharing with the world, at least not yet.
Inside, it felt like my brain and my mouth were connected by a pipe, and all I could do was sit back and watch in horror as the very depths of my mind were laid bare for all to see.
A good friend of mine was with me while I did it. She heard everything. It's a mark of our friendship that she held me, reassured me that she loved me for who I am, not who I want people to think I am. Our friendship is even stronger now, something I would never have thought possible before having that experience.
It was terrifying, and yet oddly theraputic. I'm seriously considering cannabis-assisted psychotherapy now.
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I guess what I'm trying to say is: there are a number of substances that induce mind-altering states in ways that are relatively safe and free from long term effects. If you're someone who can't seem to open up naturally, don't be afraid to try them. They just might change your life.
(As with everything, consume appropriately and safely. Have someone experienced in the substance you're consuming keep an eye on you. And for god's sake, don't do anything known to be addictive or to have severe negative side effects.)
Also, find friends who you can truly be yourself around, who love you even when they know the absolute worst about you. It makes all the difference to know that someone loves you not for who you want the world to think you are but for who you actually are.
I tried weed once a few years ago and took a bit too much as well. When the euphoria hit, I realized I had never felt that good in my entire life and I became scared of the idea that I would lose control. My thoughts also sped up and I would get into these metacognitive/self-analytical loops. I'd start thinking about something and before I could finish I'd have another thought analyzing what I had just thought, and so on. And I experienced the loss of filter. At the time, I was with a friend in his basement and we were surrounded by his mom's amateur paintings. I've never been an art person but I remember looking at one of her paintings and talking nonstop about all the different visual details that kept popping out at me.
I didn't have as complete as loss of inhibition as you described however. The friend I was with wasn't someone I completely trusted - many of my thoughts I decided not to share. Still, I think the experience was valuable and I'm glad I tried it. Although, in retrospect any self-insight I gained I don't think I truly took to heart, as it didn't lead to any meaningful behavioral change. It's only been two days, but I wonder what kind of long term changes you will see. Has the loss of filter persisted in any way or did it wear off when you came down?
Either way, your story, outside of being well written and incredibly personable, gives me hope for my own healing. I'd love to connect and hear more about where your experience takes you, especially if you end up trying cannabis assisted therapy. I'm planning on trying psychedelic assisted therapy at some point so it would be cool to have someone to discuss with. My email is in my profile if you're interested.
I wrote about how I design, code, and market new features for https://kinopio.club
The paintbrush idea is brilliant.
Also, not a plug, but I've used Roam Research (https://roamresearch.com/) before and it would be cool if there was some way to integrate how both you guys do linking. The difference being documents are linked together by basically a web hyperlink, whereas in kinopio the links can only happen at the card level, but the UI is much better.
jiggybling commented on Robinhood was indeed too good to be true morningstar.com/articles/... · Posted by u/RickJWagner
I think Robinhood is total trash, but this is exactly what every single other free brokerage does. If you don't pay for your trades, someone else has to pay for them.
This is true for ETrade, TDA, Schwab, TradeStation, TastyWorks, and friends. Your order flow must be sold to give you free trades. It's operationally impossible to be any other way since everyone, at minimum, is required to pay fees to the exchanges. Someone needs to pay for you, and a broker sure as hell isn't doing that for free.
- CME Fees: https://www.cmegroup.com/company/clearing-fees.html
- NYSE Fees: https://www.nyse.com/markets/nyse/trading-info/fees
- NASDAQ Fees: http://www.nasdaqtrader.com/trader.aspx?id=pricelisttrading2
Robinhood, for example, waives all of these somehow only charging for certain regulatory fees:
- Robinhood: https://robinhood.com/us/en/support/articles/trading-fees-on...
Robinhood also miraculously waives these mandatory fees for small transactions.
How? By selling your order flow just like everyone else.
If you really care about good executions and your order flow not being sold, you should use a service like Interactive Brokers.
I thought Interactive Brokers also sold its flow.
This is not an anonymous nickname, so I wouldn't be able to give you an honest and full answer.
fair enough
> about something that isn't really in the present
Or is it? Therapy, especially gestalt or existential, often makes people realise that something really is off with their outlook on life, relationships with other people or other things like this — something that they had paid no attention to and perceived as "normal", that really wasn't. And in the end, what started as their fight against depression ended up as work to fix the core reason for which that depression was only a symptom.
I know this to be the case with myself and some close friends of mine. I'm not a health professional, and this is anecdotal evidence, but from talking to other people and therapists, I hear about this quite often.
Can you give an example, personal or otherwise?
I wonder how strong the long-term inverse effect is having gone to a magnet high school and seeing a certain level of self esteem fallout for many people that I would say were hard working but nowhere close to "profoundly gifted".
* (Continue) Dancing - Beginning of 2023, I got into street style dance and movement (including stretching which I've done now for the past 223 days) helped me get through one of the most challenging periods of my life (i.e. divorced with a child, moved from U.S. to London to single raise my daughter). Dance has now taken its life of its own and I'm finding myself competing in dance "battles" as a way to test and grow my mental fortitude.
Technical skills
* UI Design - as a low level (i.e. C developer), I currently lack the skills to make my own little toy web apps more aesthetically pleasing for not just me, but to share with others
* Photography and videography - want to increase my current level(s) since I started a YouTube channel documenting my dance journey and also create little reels for community events
* (maybe) Rust or C++
[0] - Example of dance related YouTube shorts I make: https://youtube.com/shorts/cI2LAe-MMrw