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_zaey commented on I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic   wave3.social... · Posted by u/nswizzle31
FirmwareBurner · 3 months ago
You don't need to go to the bouldering gym to make small talk hoping it becomes more than that. You can make small talk everywhere like libraries, cafes, bars, meet-ups, concerts, stand-ups, etc. places where the main activity is talking, not exercising.

And if sports is your jam, team sports are better for socializing than solitary sports like bouldering, because you are forced to work together and build connections even without talking too much.

From my experience here, bouldering gym are the worst if socializing is your main goal because local people go there to exercise not hang around to talk to strangers and build connections, even if you're the one initiation the conversations. Socializing with strangers at the bouldering gym seems to be a mostly anglosphere thing or a big international city young urbanite thing as people mostly go there to hang out and meet new people instead of exercise. But again, bouldering is not a very easy sport for everyone to pick-up and master.

_zaey · 3 months ago
I suppose it’s very different here in the UK then
_zaey commented on I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic   wave3.social... · Posted by u/nswizzle31
FirmwareBurner · 3 months ago
I can disagree with this take.

For one, bouldering is not great if you have a fear of heights or maybe some mobility issues due to a previous injury. It's then a massively painful and risky chore and not a pleasurable activity but requires you to be at 100% health physically and mentally in order to do anything beyond kiddy walls. Otherwise you can fall and injure yourself pretty badly. Granted, that's mostly on you, not the sport but still, it's not a universally approachable sport by everyone by any stretch. At least I never gotten to enjoy it no matter how much I forced myself to based on the hype of those around me and the internet.

> with no inherit social hierarchy

Not 100% true. This might be your conscious way of wanting to see things, but in reality, all sports especially in male groups are inherently competitive where a clear hierarchy gets formed which leads to either admiration or repulsion based on abilities and results, even if it's just subconsciously, but it is there and everyone is aware of it even if we choose to ignore it for the sake of equality and inclusion.

IMHO, team sports like football, handball, volleyball, tennis, ping-pong, various martial arts etc are far better for socializing because you actually have to partner with others and play against others, versus solitary like bouldering.

> I’d highly recommend going on your own as you will find opportunities to meet new people, and others will talk to you

I feel like this take is 100% based on regional social customs of where you live, and not on the sport. This might be my experience of the German speaking country I moved to but from the locals, nobody here ever starts making conversation to you randomly. People tend to go with their social group and not interact with strangers, while those who go alone tend to want to be left alone to practice and not get interrupted with small talk by other who are there to make friends.

Just like the gym, it's definitely not a way to make friends here, since people got here to work out, not have conversations with strangers.

_zaey · 3 months ago
Sorry to hear that’s your experience.

I’m staying with my parents this week and I visited the local bouldering gym alone on Wednesday and last night.

On Wednesday I met someone called Nelly, and hung out with them for the session.

Yesterday I bumped into Nelly with their friends Maddie and Kate and climbed with them.

I’m leaving on Sunday so I gave one of them my number and they messaged me to say it was great fun climbing together.

Now we might be climbing again this weekend.

Granted, I approached them, but all it took was asking Nelly, “How did you find that route?” and asking them for tips.

The bouldering gym is what you make it, just hang out and don’t assume people will reject you (which can be a difficult headspace to get out of, but exposure therapy will fix that, and the bouldering gym can be that exposure therapy)

_zaey commented on I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic   wave3.social... · Posted by u/nswizzle31
profsummergig · 3 months ago
Is it usually done in natural settings outdoors, or in a sort of gym, indoors?
_zaey · 3 months ago
In my experience people will start indoors and build experience before heading outdoors.

You could ask people in the bouldering gym whether they have any experience with outdoor bouldering and people will start sharing their favourite spots nearby, and might even invite you along.

Outdoors requires:

- your own climbing shoes

- someone with a bouldering mat

Whereas you will hire shoes from the bouldering gym as a beginner

You won’t need to bring anything to the bouldering gym other than a water bottle and some loose fit clothing

_zaey commented on I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic   wave3.social... · Posted by u/nswizzle31
_zaey · 3 months ago
Bouldering (indoor climbing) is the most social sport I’ve tried, and I’d highly recommend going on your own as you will find opportunities to meet new people, and others will talk to you (as long as you’re not wearing headphones!).

Bouldering provides an open space you can move freely in, with no inherent social hierarchy (no tutors, teachers), just people trying varying difficulties of bouldering routes. If someone can do a route you can’t, just ask them for tips, or if someone can’t do a route you can, ask if they want help, or cheer someone on when they do something difficult.

Bouldering provides lots of easy conversation starters, and as with all social situations, going on your own and showing vulnerability will always be endearing to others.

u/_zaey

KarmaCake day1May 31, 2025View Original