You can save yourself a lot of time and possibly attract the right type of candidate By posting the salary (not just a range) including all benefits as well as the type of work they’ll be responsible for (not just what skills you expect them to have). Top tier candidates have to deal with a lot of noise, you can make your signal stronger by being upfront about as much detail as possible.
Readit NewsDevToRecruiter commented on Ask HN: Having trouble getting senior applicants, wondering what to do about it · Posted by u/throw1138
I am one of those let go today. It's especially bad, because they seem to have messed up the invite templates. I received one to the Town Hall meeting, even before Majus letter was published, only to get the invitation cancelled and receive and invitation to "Bolt Restructuring". What an emotional rollercoaster. Extremely anxious about the future, as this is my first time being laid off, especially in the current market.
EDIT: I am doubly screwed because I signed up for the employee stock option loan program... and I'm not sure what the bank will want from me now that the stock price has tanked.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know what your position is but I may be able to help you with the "finding a new job" part of your anxiety. Please feel free to reach out to me on twitter @devetorecruiter. Good luck with everything!
DevToRecruiter commented on Ask HN: How does one move on after a divorce? · Posted by u/DevToRecruiter
There's a CBT technique called reframing. When you have powerful automatic emotional responses, try to reframe them in a more balanced way.
When a relationship ends, there is a loss, often a deep one. And because cognitive dissonance is hard, we automatically reinforce rather than balance that feeling of loss. So right now you're focusing on how this is terrible and a major negative in your life and how wonderful she was - catastrophizing the breakup rather than coping with it.
Try making a list of everything that you didn't like about her and the relationship. Also make a list of everything you don't like about the future potential of that relationship. Remind yourself of the things on these lists regularly. A key one to include: given that she ended things "abruptly" you likely feel abandoned. So let me ask you this: knowing what you know now about her, do you think she'd stay by your bedside when you're on your deathbed? However bad it is to be abandoned now, it's much worse to be abandoned when you're alone and scared.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-recover-fr...
this is really helpful. thank you
DevToRecruiter commented on Ask HN: How does one move on after a divorce? · Posted by u/DevToRecruiter
The first step is to accept that she doesn’t love you anymore and you will never be together again. The longer you refuse to accept this, the longer it will take for you to move on. Accepting the hurtful reality is very very hard. But it is a necessary step to move on. If you don’t, you will continue living in emotional limbo the rest of your life.
I know you're right but just reading what wrote makes me feel queasy. Things ended so abruptly im not sure that we dont still love each other. There's a good chance that I'm fooling myself though. ughh
I feel the same way. In my case I have no love interest so I can at least pretend that that will help (it won’t). If you’re like me then it’s a near certainty that none of the suggestions here will help. I don’t have anything to offer. Im suffering with you. Alone.
DevToRecruiter commented on Ask HN: How does one move on after a divorce? · Posted by u/DevToRecruiter
It takes time. More then four years. Sometimes ten years or more.
But one day the the pain will end. And you will be able to look back without overwhelming feelings. What is important is that you will not do too much damage to yourself in the meantime.
Thanks, that what it feels like to me. I’ve survived over the last few years by leaning into the hatred for what she’s done to our family. Now that seems to have subsided and I’m left with the pain of knowing we will never be a family again. it feels like it will go on forever and I find my mind coming up with fanciful stories to subdue the pain but it doesn’t work anymore. The truth hurts so much.
DevToRecruiter commented on Ask HN: How does one move on after a divorce? · Posted by u/DevToRecruiter
How did you end up breaking up?
It was very abrupt. Our marriage was difficult but I always believed we could figure it out. I think we both felt exactly the same way about each other at the end. She filed for divorce.