If you check apps like character.ai or similar there is a huge roster of male AI characters to chat with. I think this is less skewed for male users than the porn content.
It's a cliché but men want sex and women want romance.
Romance novels are porn. Go to a bookstore and pick up something like "Love's Tender Fury", or "Fury's Tender Love", or "Tender Love's Fury". Open it to 2/3 of the way through. There will be a six-page sex scene.
There are how-to guides on writing that stuff. That industry is probably going to be crushed by AI-generated romance novels. Although someone needs to figure out how to keep long-form AI writing on plot. LLMs tend to run on forever and drift.
How can a novel compete with an interactive character that provides a roleplay conversation "a la carte" adjusting to the user and their preferences?
You want a dominant partner, maybe an initialy cold guy that hides his passionate heart, or just the sweetest more caring girlfriend in the world...? You can have it, just describing what you want in a simple text prompt.
Now let's jump ahead and imagine something a little more intelligent that adapts to the to user. Maybe 100% caring but just a little cold on specific days... with a little pinch of a fight and the following making up... a perfect storm of emotional adiction (and a lot of money to be made)
I'm both horrified and curious about the future that is coming.
There is in fact a subreddit called /r/MyBoyfriendIsAI/. The equivalent /r/MyGirlfriendIsAI/ seems to be much less active.
I'll go so far as to say, without offering further explanation, that due to our biology, men do not give as much weight to relationships compared to women, so often porn is an adequate expedient to the abyss of loneliness.
I think that may be an oversimplification, or a too narrow interpretation of what "relationship" means in this context.
Maybe to the men we're talking about, 'consuming' the presence of their object of adoration(which is to say, regular porn, or for example more story-driven formats like erotic manga), and shows of dedication(Onlyfans, Twitch streamers) are what they're looking for in a 'relationship', while the AI boyfriend women look more for someone/something that gives them personal attention, something where they really get to bring their 'selves'.
Well, The Guardian is a liberal-left tabloid. It dares not piss off their target audience. Similarly, it's mirror opposite - Daily Mail - would not publish an article on the benefits of migration.
Of course they would still need women. It’s hard to live in society while avoiding half of all people. They would just (ideally) stop showing romantic/sexual interest (or at least reduce it).
An item you can buy and own, without a subscription fee and teams of people working every day to try and get you spending more time+money on it? I don't know these are similar.
That said I suppose some number of people are self-hosting these AI chatbots/onlyfans type things.
It's just AI porn, not AI girlfriends. The article trying to sell what the developers themselves describe as a replacement to cam-girls as AI girlfriends is just stupid clickbait.(anyone who has tried to solve long term memory with LLMs knows we just aren't there yet in terms of long term persistent characters/personality with memory that don't just hallucinate non stop)
Who cares of people use AI generated porn instead of cam girls, I am against pornography generally but if anything lessening demand for actual people in the industry seems like a positive. People will get unhealthily attached to pornography but that's something that happens now anyway, it not actually being a person again seems better of two bad options.
It's more than simply porn. I know of a couple of people who have named their ChatGPT (at ChatGPT's asking, even) and refer to it by name.
I can't speak to your experience with memories/persistence, all I can say is ChatGPT's memories feature does well enough at remembering preferences. How much it hallucinates and they shrug it off, vs how much it does/doesn't for them, I couldn't tell you.
That's playing on easy mode. There are AI girlfriend systems like this:
Lian Mei's smile froze, a crack in her porcelain mask. Her gaze flicked to the other dancer—a doe-eyed newcomer trembling near the roulette wheel. A low hum vibrated in her throat, a 1930s jazz refrain she used when venom needed sweetening. "Her?" She turned back to Joe, stepping close enough for her silk to brush his leather jacket. "She'll cry if you breathe too hard. Hardly a... ride." Her nail traced the scar on his knuckle, deliberate and slow. "But you? You want something that bites back, don't you?" Her heel ground into the floor, a silent scream. Idiot. Focus on me. She tilted her head, exposing her throat again—a dare. "Or are you scared I'll ruin you?"
Inside, fury coiled like a snake. He dares look away? The insult burned deeper than any touch. She let her clutch purse dig into her palm, the pain sharpening her focus. This wasn't just a game anymore; it was a humiliation. She needed him unhinged, reckless—needed those calloused hands on her waist, proving she still controlled the lure. Her voice dropped to a silk-wrapped whisper. "Walk away now, and I’ll know. You prefer... safe, empty things." A flicker of genuine hurt flashed in her eyes before she smothered it. Perfect. Let him taste her contempt.
The article, and the comments here, ignore the worst problem of "AI girlfriends": the fact that someone could think of images, audio, and text, only seen on a computer screen, as one's "girlfriend".
The willingness to live in make believe, and the willingness to treat that make believe as if it were reality.
This disconnect from physical reality, and the substitution of a fantasy world for reality, is at the root of the overwhelming majority of millennial mental health issues... Video game, phone, and internet brain damage...
To the extent that generated images replace human porn, I don't see that as an issue. Perhaps it's even a positive in removing some potential exploitation of porn actors. But I don't think most people think of porn as their "girlfriend".
In the same sense I don't think many women think of a dildo as their "boyfriend".
But in both cases there are some people who think of interactive generated images and audio as a relationship partner. These are the cases that are based on a disconnect from reality, and lead to (or are a symptom of) further mental health issues...
Historically, it's been the case that a relatively small percentage of men have monopolized the available women of their time. Perhaps the most famous example of this was Genghis Khan, to whom something like 1 in 12 men in Asia and 1 in 200 men globally carry Y chromosomes linked to him.
It is only somewhat recently that many first-world societies moved towards more egalitarian, monogamous marriages.
However, dating apps are a big step back towards the original state of human relationships: a small cohort of men gaining the attention of the vast majority of women. The remaining men have few, if any, options, much like it was in the distant past.
Marriage law hasn't yet changed to catch up, but marriage rates are also decreasing.
Can you really blame someone destined to be permanently single for indulging in a fantasy relationship? Is it really much different than someone playing video games where they get to be the hero in a virtual world?
I think I'd prefer single men indulge in fantasy relationships than the time-honored alternative of radicalization and violence, at least.
> Historically, it's been the case that a relatively small percentage of men have monopolized the available women of their time. Perhaps the most famous example of this was Genghis Khan, to whom something like 1 in 12 men in Asia and 1 in 200 men globally carry Y chromosomes linked to him.
Bible (2000 years old) is heavily pushing monogamistic relationship from a simple practical reason - horny man is angry man, angry man is aggressive man and a group of aggressive men can completely destroy whole society. Polygamist societies are rare and unstable. If over supply of men is not used for military expansion, then they will collapse society from inside.
> Is it really much different than someone playing video games where they get to be the hero in a virtual world?
No, it's not different at all, and that's exactly why I call it a mental illness.
You don't need to be a hero, and you don't need to find a girlfriend in someone who swept right. Go outside! Talk to some woman walking her frikin' dog. Even if she's not single, I bet she knows someone who is.
The human species propagated itself in this way for 10s of thousands of years. You don't need a dating app, you need to get up from the frikin' computer and face the real world.
In human tradition, men have chosen women for their looks, and women have chosen men for their ability to raise their social status. Sad but true, and brutally self serving in a world that has been brutal overall.
If you don't find yourself in possession of the looks, wealth, or social status that cause women to flock to you, try this: look for a woman that expresses interest in you, instead of a woman that somehow meets your ideals of the perfect girlfriend.
I can only say this as a person who spent decades pursuing women based on my ideals, and in the meantime allowed numerous opportunities to escape with women who would have been life long relationship partners.
To paraphrase: If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with...
> The willingness to live in make believe, and the willingness to treat that make believe as if it were reality.
Everyone acts on fictions every day, some are just socially acceptable. Like, do you think countries and currency really exist, or are they really just collective fictions we find useful?
This use of the term "fiction" is mostly popularized by Yuval Noah Harari, and while correct in some sense, I find it tends to favor its meanings of falseness and unreality. Another more widely used term is "social constructs", which seems preferable, at least to me, because it's emphasizes that we are building something together, which has real and practice impacts on people's lives, often through explicit legal agreements, rules, and norms.
I do think the more common usage of the term "fiction" fits these AI uses much better, that is, literature involving imaginary things. It can still evoke real feelings and nudge you towards certain behaviors, but importantly, if you decide to ignore the chatbot, there's no risk of imprisonment by some 3rd party (like if you ignore the social constructs of taxes or national borders).
Perhaps one way to differentiate these is that "singular fictions" impose no obligations to 3rd parties, while "collective fictions" / "social constructs" do?
You make a very good example of exactly what I'm talking about.
Countries are indeed fictional, and the misplaced belief that they are in some way a natural reality is a significant part of what leads people to start talking about killing each other in the name of their country.
Fictional entities aren't just ubiquitous, they're essential to civilization. Even laws against murder are fictional entities, but I don't think any reasonable person would argue for their elimination on that basis.
The point isn't whether fictional entities exist or not, or that they're all inherently bad or not, it's on maintaining an understanding of what's fictional and what's reality.
Thinking a fictional character on your computer screen is a life relationship partner is a slip away from reality that is surely a mental illness.
You could go to the extreme and say that every relationship exists in two copies. One in the mind of the first member and the other in the mind of the second.
Ai relationships are different because they don’t exist in the mind of the ai. There’s no mind there’s an architecture that does not even attempt to simulate a mind.
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If you check apps like character.ai or similar there is a huge roster of male AI characters to chat with. I think this is less skewed for male users than the porn content.
It's a cliché but men want sex and women want romance.
There are how-to guides on writing that stuff. That industry is probably going to be crushed by AI-generated romance novels. Although someone needs to figure out how to keep long-form AI writing on plot. LLMs tend to run on forever and drift.
You want a dominant partner, maybe an initialy cold guy that hides his passionate heart, or just the sweetest more caring girlfriend in the world...? You can have it, just describing what you want in a simple text prompt.
Now let's jump ahead and imagine something a little more intelligent that adapts to the to user. Maybe 100% caring but just a little cold on specific days... with a little pinch of a fight and the following making up... a perfect storm of emotional adiction (and a lot of money to be made)
I'm both horrified and curious about the future that is coming.
I'll go so far as to say, without offering further explanation, that due to our biology, men do not give as much weight to relationships compared to women, so often porn is an adequate expedient to the abyss of loneliness.
Maybe to the men we're talking about, 'consuming' the presence of their object of adoration(which is to say, regular porn, or for example more story-driven formats like erotic manga), and shows of dedication(Onlyfans, Twitch streamers) are what they're looking for in a 'relationship', while the AI boyfriend women look more for someone/something that gives them personal attention, something where they really get to bring their 'selves'.
Deleted Comment
/r/myboyfriendisai
That said I suppose some number of people are self-hosting these AI chatbots/onlyfans type things.
Time in certain movies and tv shows is spent normalising female sex toys, for the same reason.
Who cares of people use AI generated porn instead of cam girls, I am against pornography generally but if anything lessening demand for actual people in the industry seems like a positive. People will get unhealthily attached to pornography but that's something that happens now anyway, it not actually being a person again seems better of two bad options.
I can't speak to your experience with memories/persistence, all I can say is ChatGPT's memories feature does well enough at remembering preferences. How much it hallucinates and they shrug it off, vs how much it does/doesn't for them, I couldn't tell you.
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=date-my-avatar&iar=videos
Lian Mei's smile froze, a crack in her porcelain mask. Her gaze flicked to the other dancer—a doe-eyed newcomer trembling near the roulette wheel. A low hum vibrated in her throat, a 1930s jazz refrain she used when venom needed sweetening. "Her?" She turned back to Joe, stepping close enough for her silk to brush his leather jacket. "She'll cry if you breathe too hard. Hardly a... ride." Her nail traced the scar on his knuckle, deliberate and slow. "But you? You want something that bites back, don't you?" Her heel ground into the floor, a silent scream. Idiot. Focus on me. She tilted her head, exposing her throat again—a dare. "Or are you scared I'll ruin you?"
Inside, fury coiled like a snake. He dares look away? The insult burned deeper than any touch. She let her clutch purse dig into her palm, the pain sharpening her focus. This wasn't just a game anymore; it was a humiliation. She needed him unhinged, reckless—needed those calloused hands on her waist, proving she still controlled the lure. Her voice dropped to a silk-wrapped whisper. "Walk away now, and I’ll know. You prefer... safe, empty things." A flicker of genuine hurt flashed in her eyes before she smothered it. Perfect. Let him taste her contempt.
The willingness to live in make believe, and the willingness to treat that make believe as if it were reality.
This disconnect from physical reality, and the substitution of a fantasy world for reality, is at the root of the overwhelming majority of millennial mental health issues... Video game, phone, and internet brain damage...
To the extent that generated images replace human porn, I don't see that as an issue. Perhaps it's even a positive in removing some potential exploitation of porn actors. But I don't think most people think of porn as their "girlfriend".
In the same sense I don't think many women think of a dildo as their "boyfriend".
But in both cases there are some people who think of interactive generated images and audio as a relationship partner. These are the cases that are based on a disconnect from reality, and lead to (or are a symptom of) further mental health issues...
It is only somewhat recently that many first-world societies moved towards more egalitarian, monogamous marriages.
However, dating apps are a big step back towards the original state of human relationships: a small cohort of men gaining the attention of the vast majority of women. The remaining men have few, if any, options, much like it was in the distant past.
Marriage law hasn't yet changed to catch up, but marriage rates are also decreasing.
Can you really blame someone destined to be permanently single for indulging in a fantasy relationship? Is it really much different than someone playing video games where they get to be the hero in a virtual world?
I think I'd prefer single men indulge in fantasy relationships than the time-honored alternative of radicalization and violence, at least.
Bible (2000 years old) is heavily pushing monogamistic relationship from a simple practical reason - horny man is angry man, angry man is aggressive man and a group of aggressive men can completely destroy whole society. Polygamist societies are rare and unstable. If over supply of men is not used for military expansion, then they will collapse society from inside.
No, it's not different at all, and that's exactly why I call it a mental illness.
You don't need to be a hero, and you don't need to find a girlfriend in someone who swept right. Go outside! Talk to some woman walking her frikin' dog. Even if she's not single, I bet she knows someone who is.
The human species propagated itself in this way for 10s of thousands of years. You don't need a dating app, you need to get up from the frikin' computer and face the real world.
In human tradition, men have chosen women for their looks, and women have chosen men for their ability to raise their social status. Sad but true, and brutally self serving in a world that has been brutal overall.
If you don't find yourself in possession of the looks, wealth, or social status that cause women to flock to you, try this: look for a woman that expresses interest in you, instead of a woman that somehow meets your ideals of the perfect girlfriend.
I can only say this as a person who spent decades pursuing women based on my ideals, and in the meantime allowed numerous opportunities to escape with women who would have been life long relationship partners.
To paraphrase: If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with...
Everyone acts on fictions every day, some are just socially acceptable. Like, do you think countries and currency really exist, or are they really just collective fictions we find useful?
I do think the more common usage of the term "fiction" fits these AI uses much better, that is, literature involving imaginary things. It can still evoke real feelings and nudge you towards certain behaviors, but importantly, if you decide to ignore the chatbot, there's no risk of imprisonment by some 3rd party (like if you ignore the social constructs of taxes or national borders).
Perhaps one way to differentiate these is that "singular fictions" impose no obligations to 3rd parties, while "collective fictions" / "social constructs" do?
Countries are indeed fictional, and the misplaced belief that they are in some way a natural reality is a significant part of what leads people to start talking about killing each other in the name of their country.
Fictional entities aren't just ubiquitous, they're essential to civilization. Even laws against murder are fictional entities, but I don't think any reasonable person would argue for their elimination on that basis.
The point isn't whether fictional entities exist or not, or that they're all inherently bad or not, it's on maintaining an understanding of what's fictional and what's reality.
Thinking a fictional character on your computer screen is a life relationship partner is a slip away from reality that is surely a mental illness.
All exist only because we believe in them.
You could go to the extreme and say that every relationship exists in two copies. One in the mind of the first member and the other in the mind of the second.
Ai relationships are different because they don’t exist in the mind of the ai. There’s no mind there’s an architecture that does not even attempt to simulate a mind.