I want to develop many daily habits, such as running, reading, or exercise every day, but all difficult to stick to, I know someone, such as zurkburg, who can insist on what they want to do, so I wonder is there any systemic way i can develop a habit?
Readit News
2. Learn to say no. If someone wants you to do something else during this time slot, say no, and tell them why.
3. Never break the routine. Breaking it once makes it MUCH easier to break the next scheduled time. If you do break it, feel bad about it and get back on the horse IMMEDIATELY.
4. Use the power of accountability to reinforce the routine. If you can find someone who will hold you accountable, do it. Someone who does the routine with you, or a coach who will call you out if you make excuses.
5. One thing at a time. Don't build some huge routine of 15 tasks at once. Ease into it one task at a time.
6. Don't overload yourself. Leave time in your schedule for play. If it gets to be too much, decide CONSCIOUSLY which one you will drop permanently (and not right before the schedule to do it).
Edit: I'll also say this: Overcoming adversity builds discipline. A tough life that forces you to fight for what you want builds this naturally. An easy, carefree life doesn't make you tough. Seek out tough things to toughen yourself up.
1. Ensure sufficient sleep (varies for each individual)
2. Identify and manage sources of stress
3. Practice mindfulness meditation
Doing the above ensures that your willpower is stronger and you are able to stick with new habits.
Even if you go two weeks and never get to the gym, you have at least built a habit of getting started with working out! You're much better off than if you had done nothing. Every day, at least you get started. And getting started is usually the hardest part. If you get started, most of the time you'll actually do the thing you had in mind!
It's critical to make the minimum requirement easy and then DO IT EVERY DAY. If it's hard and painful, you'll simply quit the whole thing after a while.
What is really important is that you never forget the hard work it was to build the routine to never let it go. It is hard for everybody to build again a routine after a break like when you broke your foot (like me right now) and need to go back to running every second day (I know it will be painful both physically and psychologically for me).
Point 5. is really important. One habit at a time, it takes a lot of willpower to build one action/activity into a routine, do not overload. Also, there are some habits which are easier to start building at given point in your life or of the year (running in winter may not be fun for you). So use the right time of the year, the right break in your life to start something and fight to not lose the ones you achieved.
2. Agree. Some discipline in sticking is very helpful in the beginning. Over time, people realize you aren't to be bothered at a certain time, or even that you don't spontaneously change your plans if you have certain specific activities planned that hour ( for me, it's biking).
3. Strongly Disagree. Being uncomfortable with a break in routine leads to guilt, sense of failure, and premature abandonment of your goal. It's really important to curtail falling off, but comfort with occasional breaks is really important.
4. This only works if you have a long term coach/partner. Friends are usually unlikely to be as determined as you to do this particular thing. And if you start together with a friend and they fall off, it legitimizes the failure a little and tempts you to fall off too. I'd say being accountable to yourself (marking lines on a whiteboard) might be more effective.
5. Strongly agree. ONLY one thing at a time.
6. Agree
- With exercise it's important to not overdo it. Start small, work up at a reasonable slow pace. You don't have to run 10 miles on day 1. Getting injured or sore or even just too tired makes it so much more likely you'll start skipping.
- Make doing the activity any given day more important that how much of it you do. It's okay to run a half mile instead of three, just make sure to run a little.
- When I was trying to lose weight & make a habit out of counting calories and stopping at my limit, I realized something that made it a thousand times easier. This might seem really stupid obvious, but it's about mental frame of mind. I realized that whatever hunger I thought I felt, I had been eating more than I needed. I was getting too much. If my calorie limit left me a little hungry, then that's how I was supposed to feel. When I focused on overcoming the hunger, it was a losing battle, it just made me think about the hunger and how I felt like I wanted to eat more. When I shifted to thinking about how I'd been eating too much, it was easy to adjust.
This helped me discover that building habits and goals are a very mental process that you can make easier by modifying your thinking. Figure out how to make your goals motivating, as opposed to brute-forcing your way over hurdles. When I learned to think the right way about certain things, they became so much easier. The harder you push against something you don't really want to do, the more energy it takes. If you can flip it into something you do want to do, it's effortless. Try reflecting on ways to make it mentally easier to make activities automatic, rather than thinking about how to battle and win new habits. Turn the goals mentally into givens- the things you're just going to do, and make the alternative the thing that's more difficult than not doing it.
Getting injured... nothing breaks routine and depresses you like this one. I got one earlier on doing jumping jacks - it was the achilles. Fortunately it preceded my call week and I recovered in a quick 3 weeks - which was surprising. So I missed at most 1 week. Never did jumping jacks again and always use the alternatives... in fact I take all the starter options I am given.
To add to your second point. I have more 'bad days' than good... shouldn't this stuff get easier? Some days I cannot finish some routines; just don't have the energy. But I always feel good leaving the gym. Getting to the gym is more than 80% of the battle - there are usually competent people at gym to take you the last 20%. Don't compare yourself with others - concern yourself with your factors.
I did not set out to change my eating habits. However seeing decent gains, I started asking myself if I need that extra item I crave. I often give in to the ask, but it is not without questioning myself. I am not the best when it comes to dietary self control, so, for now, this is my approach. Hopefully down the road I will question myself more, and eventually, give in less.
Last time I check out research concerning producitivty, it's an unresearched black hole.
That's not factoring in the reproducability crisis.
This is far better IMO than googling somebody else's list. It is personalized to you and is more fun that way, too.
Actually, I guess it's mostly the first 3:
> 1. Build a routine. Set a specific, repeating time when you will do the thing in your calendar. Keep that slot clear, ALWAYS. Never let something interrupt this task.
> 2. Learn to say no. If someone wants you to do something else during this time slot, say no, and tell them why.
> 3. Never break the routine. Breaking it once makes it MUCH easier to break the next scheduled time. If you do break it, feel bad about it and get back on the horse IMMEDIATELY.
It's this "do it now or feel guilty" stuff that keeps most people procrastinating or avoiding doing the task. I remember initially I would have it set in my mind that I needed to go to the gym at 10 a.m. the next day. If I woke up a bit late or was wasting time on reddit and 10 a.m. looked unrealistic, I started feeling really guilty. "Oh no, if I don't go now, I'll never go!" It put a lot of stupid, unnecessary pressure on the situation. And it didn't really have the desired effect -- I'd usually not go, since I had already blown it by missing my 10 a.m. deadline, after all!
Now, I might wake up and plan on going at 10, but I know that I 1) absolutely do plan on going and 2) can go at 11, or 12, or 1, or 2, etc. There's no need to make the task worse by associating a lot of negative pressure and guilt with it.
> One thing at a time. [...] Leave time in your schedule for play.
Totally. Especially if it's an area where the amount of information out there can be overwhelming (a la fitness / weightlifting). I started out going with a few exercises I enjoyed in mind and simply did them until I felt tired. I didn't worry about making a program, writing down my workouts, obsessing about nutrition, or obsessing about how many days or which days I did what.
Over time, things started getting easier and I began incorporating more of this stuff as I started feeling comfortable. But the initial phase where I made the habit something I actually enjoyed was crucial. Even now, when I occasionally find myself feeling like I've slipped too much back into treating it like a job, I take a day to not keep track of anything and try some new exercises that I think might feel good.
Edit: Also super useful:
> If you can find someone who will hold you accountable, do it. Someone who does the routine with you, or a coach who will call you out if you make excuses.
For me it was my roommate. I'd go with him the first couple of months. After a while I felt comfortable enough to go by myself and do my own thing, but that initial time where I would use the slight social pressure of him going and asking me if I wanted to go to keep myself in check.
Couldn't agree more with this.
I've tried many times to build habits into my routine, only to abandon them and feel bad about it because I couldn't maintain them for a few days.
No more. Now I have them in my list, I keep them consciously present, but I won't punish myself if I don't get them done one day. Allow some leeway. If you really want it, build it paciently into your routine and if it doesn't feel right, try another way.
One example: I've been trying to stick to a healthy diet to lose some weight. I don't enjoy cooking, and much less enjoy preparing or eating salads. Tried lots of apps, lots of ways of grocery shopping, and hated it all the way. Now I switched to calorie counting and drinking lots of water. Walking away from the desk to fill a bottle 3 or 4 times a day feels like I'm moving forward without any hassle, and I just try to eat slowly when I sit down for lunch or dinner. Water diminishes my appetite and cravings for eating out of just feeling anxiety. And if I feel like chomping down on a pizza with beer, it's ok, no big deal.
Just take it easy. Hakuna matata.
The key is to entrain a new habit with an old one---exercise when you get up, or on your way home from work, or at some other point in the day where you're reliably doing the same thing every day.
Systematic, definitely. Scientific? Not really sure, but I find it extremely effective. If I could boil it down to "what works" for me, it'd be:
- Pick a task or thing that you want to accomplish. Let's say running (mine is running/lifting).
- Pick a "cue," or something that signals when you perform said task. The more apparent the cue the better. Mine is waking up. Working out is the first thing I do.
- Follow this routine religiously for about 21 days. That's the magic number according to people who are into this kind of thing, and I agree. At this point you kind of forget what your old habit was when you woke up, and you naturally go to perform your new task.
And lastly, there will be some days when you don't want to perform the task. Do it anyway. A streak of not performing that task is really just the (re)formation of a bad habit.
Worth noting that the 21 day recommendation is "average", the actual "stick time" has a huge variation between a few days spent on "brush my teeth as soon as I wake up" habit to (likely) months that it would take to pick up the "run 5 miles before breakfast" habit.
Dead Comment
Good point! I allow myself an Irn-Bru only on run days (and less than 10 miles doesn't count). I don't live in Scotland and Irn-Bru is particularly hard to find, which is part of the incentive. Gives me a sense of accomplishment anyway!
It talks through studies where people have broken bad habits through creating new ones.
Meditate. There are many different ways. Find one that works for you. It is the best way to become more conscious of your habits and less reactive.
Dead Comment
- I stopped trying to develop all the habits at once and sticked to a single habit. Preferably the easiest one.
- I discovered I get used to doing something by repeating it a lot. For e.g. at the beginning, I was targeting doing yoga once a week because I was thinking that the more often I target, the more difficult it would be and I would fail. It did not work out because doing something once a week did not turn into a habit. Instead, I switched to doing 3 minutes of yoga, but every single day. And I did not target increasing it at all. After a period, I was automatically increasing it without noticing it.
- I cannot develop habits when my life is busy and unstable. For e.g. if I am not coming home at the same hour everyday, and targeting to read at the same time but missing it because I was not at home at that hour, it did not turn in to a habit. When I could do it at the same time everyday for a period, then it started to stick.
- I started giving a habit at least 3 months to develop. I reserve the next three months for a single habit, if I can do it, say 60 times in 90 days, I tend to stick to it after that period and am now able to add a new one, because the feeling of "I am now trying to develop a habit" disappears for the old one.
- Also I discovered that once I make something a habit, I can decrease the frequency and still able to stick with it. E.g. I developed a habit of running 3-4 times a week, now I want to do it once a week and I can easily stick to it.
- Pay for things. I'm been paying $400/month for fitness classes and rest assured I never missed one. Haven't even been late.
- Develop a single meta-habit: check your checklist. I have a morning checklist of things that I need to check off before I feel my morning is complete and my day is off to a good start. I don't forget my vitamins anymore.
- Talk things through with someone who listens. As you're talking out loud you will get a better perspective and ideas on how to make new habits stick will pop out of nowhere.
Counterpoint: lots of people hold $50-$100/month gym memberships but never go to the gym. In fact, this is the most important part of the business model of most gyms.
A lot of people want to believe that humans are somehow "above" operant conditioning, but there's a lot of evidence that we aren't.
Language nitpick: the word you want is systematic [2].
[1] http://open.lib.umn.edu/intropsyc/chapter/7-2-changing-behav...
[2] http://www.public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/systemic.html
All of this might sound crazy, but I wanted it badly, made it paramount, so all the rest flowed from that. If you really want your life to be different, decide what you want and accept the decisions that flow from the goal. People will get in your way, including yourself. I've had the weirdest effects myself of suddenly unable to focus on getting out the door, forgetting where my keys or such are, etc. But keep at it. Make the goal paramount, break through whatever bizzareness appears, and you'll have what you want.
Not sure if there's advice or a definitive way to develop a habit here, but it's helpful nonetheless.
Once you get distracted by something, it's very easy to continue to be distracted. I'm thinking of binge-watching Netflix, or checking out the reddit front-page etc. After, we forget what is the work and what are the todos. Even if we have to go back to a productive state, then we are not in the zone, and it is still very easy to go back in distraction mode.
Based on all this, what worked for me was being productive right from the beginning. Waking up, I do something productive, often creative writing. When I begin to work, I do not check news or email. I start with a to-dos that are quick to do. You do a streak and then continue on the bigger todos. News, emails, blogs, social media are much later in the day, if at all.
In this framework, if I want to develop a new habit, I would wake up early and put 30mn of time into it. I won't open up my phone or have any social interaction before finishing it.