Readit News logoReadit News
throoowwawaayy commented on Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?    · Posted by u/throoowwawaayy
riialist · 3 years ago
Yes sure, but I don't categorise these episodes as losing the plot.

Per my perception I've gone "missing in action" for some months or even a few years during my life. Did not check any inboxes or report to anyone. For me, these episodes have been valuable, but yes, I am guilty of neglecting my family and friends during these periods.

Summa summarum I think in some situations it is the only rational option.

As Bertrand Russell said in The Conquest of Happiness

"One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny."

throoowwawaayy · 3 years ago
Thank you, and what a great quote that is
throoowwawaayy commented on Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?    · Posted by u/throoowwawaayy
ArthurDent451 · 3 years ago
Back in 1980 I moved into a shared house in Sydney and one night I was woken up by commotion in the adjoining back yard. A man was sitting naked on top of the Hills Hoist hosing himself with cold water in the middle of winter and shouting "You're all as plastic as my little red guitar". Police and ambulance arrived and he was carted off. Neighbours told me that he was a computer programmer. Somehow I wiped this memory from my mind and took up a career as a coder. Fast forward 20 years and I was seeking medical advice for symptoms of "burn out". Thankfully not as severe as that poor chap in 1980.
throoowwawaayy · 3 years ago
“Plastic as my little red guitar” is a savage burn though. :) I hope he got to a better place too.
throoowwawaayy commented on Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?    · Posted by u/throoowwawaayy
luxuryballs · 3 years ago
I’ve always wondered how suicide becomes a viable option in the human mind, like at some point in life did we learn about it or is it a more natural mental progression?

Like I wonder if someone raised in isolation would ever come up with the idea of killing yourself on their own or if it has to come from some outside influence.

To be clear I’ve had thoughts like that too but I just can’t recall if I came up with it on my own or if it was a concept I learned elsewhere and then sort of leaned into in the darkest moments. I just can’t imagine my innate “child self” ever going there.

throoowwawaayy · 3 years ago
I personally felt like I was self-culling from the herd, like some kind of evolutionary group damage-control program was activated. A switch flipped and I wanted to be as far away from everyone as possible. I don’t know if that’s a real thing though.
throoowwawaayy commented on Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?    · Posted by u/throoowwawaayy
SeanAnderson · 3 years ago
Sorry that happened to you. It sounds scary, but you sound like you're doing much better. I hope you are.

In the interest of openly sharing, I've had inklings of psychosis in the past while also being an absolute top performer at work. It's damaged my relationships, but never to the point of a psychotic break. A combination of getting way too focused on work for months/years, burning out, stopping exercising to try and "claw back time" for more work, way too much caffeine to push further, weed to chill and push creativity, and exploring various dosages of modafinil/adderall without a prescription. Turns out that's not something you can do to your brain for all too long, but it was also "easy" to get back to my old self once I stopped pretending I was somehow special and could cheat the system and instead focused on being as healthy of a human as I could muster. My direct boss at work and I have a very strong relationship and so he had awareness of where I was at, but nobody else.

Again, not trying to steal any limelight. Your scenario sounds more extreme and you have my deepest condolences. You're not completely alone in fighting demons.

throoowwawaayy · 3 years ago
What a coincidence, I am also somehow special and think I can beat the system. So that is encouraging to hear, thank you.
throoowwawaayy commented on Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?    · Posted by u/throoowwawaayy
easymodex · 3 years ago
My wife went through psychosis in december for the first time and is still recovering. As you can imagine it has been a rough few months and I really want to know, in your experience, do you go back to normal afterwards? How long does it take? She is on antipsychotics and is way out of the acute phase, but she still has unusual behaviour like last week she covered up the TV with a towel and says she doesn't like phones or screens around her. She is not as loving as she was, wants a lot of alone time and she has changed some habits for no apparent reason and when I ask her about it she just replies she likes it like that and to stop bugging her. I'd say overall she's like 80-90% back to her old self but still has some weird changes to her personality. Does that fade as well or is this just the way she will be now?
throoowwawaayy · 3 years ago
I don’t know if my situation has any overlap with your wife’s, but it took me 2-3 years after the incident above before I could say I felt normal-ish again. But I’ll never be entirely the same. I hope she gets there, it sounds like you’re taking good care of her!
throoowwawaayy commented on Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?    · Posted by u/throoowwawaayy
raffraffraff · 3 years ago
Not OP, but perhaps the regret is about putting too much pressure on themselves, not the aftermath. We owe it to our loved ones as much as to ourselves to keep a healthy balance in the things we do.
throoowwawaayy · 3 years ago
There is that, but I also don’t feel like “I was crazy” entirely absolves me. I could have made some better decisions for sure.
throoowwawaayy commented on Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?    · Posted by u/throoowwawaayy
JumpCrisscross · 3 years ago
I'm sorry for what you went through. That sounds rough.

That said, I'm (perhaps morbidly) curious about the experience. Were you having fun finding fossils?

throoowwawaayy · 3 years ago
I had a fucking blast. It felt like an adventure.
throoowwawaayy commented on Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?    · Posted by u/throoowwawaayy
Titan2189 · 3 years ago
Are you talking in metaphors?
throoowwawaayy · 3 years ago
No, I very literally thought the local rocky hills were formed from huge piles of gigantic petrified sea turtles, horseshoe crabs, and stingrays. I saw their outlines and suggestions of their shapes in the rocks. It seemed self-evident to me that here were ancient creatures that had mineralized over time in rough piles. In smaller rocks they looked more like isopods, more creepy and Giger-like.

I took lots of pictures because I knew nobody would believe me. They are picture of rocks :)

throoowwawaayy commented on Ask HN: Did anyone else lose their marbles?    · Posted by u/throoowwawaayy
BxGyw2 · 3 years ago
Stress induced psychosis maybe? Were you using any chemicals? Feel like I understand the need to escape to the woods but not so sure about the fossils thing. Hope you are doing better now mate
throoowwawaayy · 3 years ago
Thank you, and yes, I was taking dexedrine for ADHD, and I’m sure that was a factor here, or at least it didn’t help!

u/throoowwawaayy

KarmaCake day377February 6, 2023View Original