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mgmeyers commented on Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb    · Posted by u/dezeiner
mgmeyers · 3 years ago
Yes. I'm still recovering (in year 5 of therapy) but notice a night and day difference in my capacity to focus and be present and alert.

> Talk therapy has done little.

I honestly don't think recovery from trauma can be achieved without psychotherapy. You can cover it up, but it's still going to impact your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to some degree. You might get lucky with things like psychedelics, but finding the right therapist and right therapy will bring about change more consistently.

The challenge, however, is that there are many styles of therapy and many styles of therapists. Also, there are different types of trauma (eg. shock trauma, complex trauma, attachment trauma) that require different approaches to treatment. I was lucky in that I found a therapy and therapist that worked for me in my first try. My partner, however, went through 7 therapists over the course of a few years before they found a good fit. Any decent therapist will not be offended if you tell them you feel therapy is not going anywhere, in fact it's in their code of ethics that they need to help you find a better fit.

What works for me isn't going to work for you, but here's my opinion (that you didn't ask for) on therapies that are better at treating trauma than CBT or "traditional" talk therapy: Internal Family Systems therapy, EMDR, the NeuroAffective Relational Model, and Somatic Experiencing / Sensorimotor. AEDP and Coherence Therapy are also decent options. If CBT is all that's available, at least try to find TF-CBT (trauma-focused).

mgmeyers commented on Ask HN: What colorscheme are you using in your code editor?    · Posted by u/navierstokess
mgmeyers · 3 years ago
Noctis: https://github.com/liviuschera/noctis

Specifically, I try to match the theme variant to my lighting conditions. I had some major eye strain for a while, and doing this with this theme seemed helped.

mgmeyers commented on Ask HN: Freelancer? Seeking freelancer? (April 2022)    · Posted by u/whoishiring
mgmeyers · 4 years ago
SEEKING WORK

Location: Seattle, WA, USA

Remote: Yes (remote only)

Willing to relocate: No

Technologies: JavaScript (& TypeScript), React, Node.js, Go, and related technologies

Seeking: An ongoing engagement of ~15 per week

---

I’m a full-stack developer with 10+ years of experience. I specialize in web development using JavaScript, React, Node.js, and other related technologies. In 2020, I returned to school to pursue a new career as a marriage and family therapist and I’m now seeking an ongoing, part-time arrangement of about 15 hours per week to see me through the next several years of this journey.

I’m interested in any JavaScript related work: testing writing, bug bashing, code maintenance/refactoring, documentation, planning & prototyping, feature development, etc. Give me all your grunt work, or let me loose to build out features or a from-scratch prototype.

See my GitHub profile for several active, open source projects.

Also, please acknowledge that 15 per week will work for you when reaching out

---

GitHub: https://github.com/mgmeyers

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mgmeyers/

Personal Website: https://matthewmeye.rs

Email: hello@matthewmeye.rs

mgmeyers commented on Ask HN: Who wants to be hired? (March 2022)    · Posted by u/whoishiring
mgmeyers · 4 years ago

  Location: Seattle, WA
  Remote: Yes (only)
  Willing to relocate: No
  Technologies: JavaScript (& TypeScript), React, Node.js, Go, and related technologies
  Résumé/CV: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mgmeyers/
  Email: hello@matthewmeye.rs
Note: I am seeking a part-time arrangement of no more than 15 hours per week.

I’m a full-stack developer with 10+ years of experience. I specialize in web development using JavaScript, React, Node.js, and other related technologies. In 2020, I returned to school to pursue a new career as a marriage and family therapist and I'm now seeking an ongoing, part-time arrangement of about 15 hours per week to see me through the next several years of this journey.

See my GitHub profile for several active, open source projects I'm working on: https://github.com/mgmeyers

mgmeyers commented on Ask HN: Freelancer? Seeking freelancer? (March 2022)    · Posted by u/whoishiring
mgmeyers · 4 years ago
SEEKING WORK

Location: Seattle, WA, USA

Remote: Yes (remote only)

Willing to relocate: No

Technologies: JavaScript (& TypeScript), React, Node.js, Go, and related technologies

Seeking: An ongoing engagement of ~15 per week

---

I’m a full-stack developer with 10+ years of experience. I specialize in web development using JavaScript, React, Node.js, and other related technologies. In 2020, I returned to school to pursue a new career as a marriage and family therapist, and I am seeking an ongoing, part-time arrangement of about 15 hours per week to see me through the next several years of this journey.

I’m interested in any JavaScript related work: testing writing, bug bashing, code maintenance/refactoring, documentation, planning & prototyping, feature development, etc. Give me all your grunt work, or let me loose to build out features or a from-scratch prototype.

See my GitHub profile for several active, open source projects I'm working on.

---

GitHub: https://github.com/mgmeyers

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mgmeyers/

Personal Website: https://matthewmeye.rs

Email: hello@matthewmeye.rs

mgmeyers commented on Ask HN: Freelancer? Seeking freelancer? (February 2022)    · Posted by u/whoishiring
mgmeyers · 4 years ago
SEEKING WORK

Location: Seattle, WA, USA

Remote: Yes (remote only)

Willing to relocate: No

Technologies: JavaScript (& TypeScript), React, Node.js, Go, and related technologies

Seeking: An ongoing engagement of ~15 per week

---

I’m a full-stack developer with 10+ years of experience. I specialize in web development using JavaScript, React, Node.js, and other related technologies. In 2020, I returned to school to pursue a new career as a marriage and family therapist, and I am seeking an ongoing, part-time arrangement of about 15 hours per week to see me through the next several years of this journey.

I’m up for any JavaScript related work—testing writing, bug bashing, code maintenance/refactoring, documentation, planning & prototyping, feature development, etc. Give me all your grunt work, or let me loose to build out features or a from-scratch prototype!

---

GitHub: https://github.com/mgmeyers

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mgmeyers/

Personal Website: https://matthewmeye.rs

Email: hello@matthewmeye.rs

mgmeyers commented on Emotional Blocks as Obstacles to Learning   acesounderglass.com/2020/... · Posted by u/luu
amatic · 6 years ago
> I believe trauma instills scientific-type knowledge that is factually false but locally adaptive. False beliefs need more protection to be maintained than true beliefs, so the belief both calcifies, making it unresponsive to new information, and lays a bunch of emotional landmines around itself to punish you for getting too close to it. This cascades into punishing you for learning at all, because you might learn something that corrects your false-but-useful model.

This sounds pretty deep. I immediately remembered other people who I suspect had such false-but-useful beliefs. How to identify areas of false beliefs in yourself?

mgmeyers · 6 years ago
Coherence therapy is a pretty concise approach: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17054323-unlocking-the-e...

Internal family systems is a more elaborate, but thorough approach: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6969927-self-therapy

mgmeyers commented on Cultivate the Skill of Undivided Attention, or “Deep Work” (2019)   letterstoanewdeveloper.co... · Posted by u/mooreds
8ytecoder · 6 years ago
Thanks for saying that. This is why I read digital minimalism first to understand the things that’s preventing me from deep work in the first place and came out with the same issue. I know it’s bad but sometimes that’s all my brain wants to do. And there’s no answer to find out the reason behind that and address the root cause. Almost all solutions are “just stop doing it.” My friend and I call these the “simple solutions”.

“I feel really sad”

“Don’t. You’ll be alright”.

“Phew. Thanks. I’m cured.”

If anyone here has solutions that are more than “Just focus” I’m interested. It’s starting to affect my work life especially now since a lot of my current work don’t have much meaning and I need to get through this for a few months at least.

mgmeyers · 6 years ago
Self-Therapy by Jay Early was the first book I read that gave me lasting, "non-simple" solutions. Totally changed the way I view my own motivations, and shined a light on how absurd the "stop doing it"/"try harder" mentality is.
mgmeyers commented on Ask HN: Low self confidence and self esteem. How to improve?    · Posted by u/codesternews
mgmeyers · 7 years ago
I've struggled with self confidence my entire life. In an effort to change and grow I've read all the major self help books, developed a serious meditation habit, and even turned to potent psychedelics.

The only thing that I found that actually works, however, is internal family systems therapy. Because of IFS (and my therapist) I now know what it's like to be genuinely confident, rather than fighting or pretending to be.

mgmeyers commented on Ask HN: What Are Some Companies That Foster Employee Happiness and Wellbeing?    · Posted by u/mgmeyers
KerryJones · 7 years ago
I just started working for Patreon so it might be a bit early but I love the culture, and it has many of those traits. I have also studied building cultures for my own previous startups before and they do a lot right.

- Encouraged PTO (they suggest one week a quarter) - A lot of quiet / introversion rooms as well as space to be chatty - Full normal health benefits AND mental health benefits (emotional counseling) - Mental health days are totally accepted - People WFH as they need (though encouraged to be in the office) - A large personal development stipend ($3K/yr)

----------------

They also provide a lot of other aspects that I think play into the culture, but really it's the people that make it for me. Everyone really cares about the mission.

mgmeyers · 7 years ago
That does sound pretty great. After your studies in culture building, what sort of things do you look for in a company?

u/mgmeyers

KarmaCake day108March 4, 2013
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