As someone working in security, the fact that _foundational_ pieces of the computing/networking rely on motivated individuals and essentially goodwill is mind blowing.
There are great aspects to the FOSS movement, but the risks – particularly the social engineering aspects as demonstrated here – and potential blast radius of supply chains like this... We take it all for granted and that is lining up to bite us hard, as an industry.
You have the right to be paid for your time. It's valuable.
I enjoy coding too... but the only free coding I do is for myself.
Use a proper license, charge for your time and stop killing yourself doing unpaid hobby projects that cause nothing but stress.
It sounds trite but exercise and sleeping/eating better is really the only thing we have proof that works. (zoloft can help kickstart the changes but it won't reduce anxiety long term)
Do you enjoy playing games or do you enjoying making games?
If you enjoy playing games don't kill your hobby, if you enjoy making games I would expect you'd already have a ton of example projects you could show and discuss, even just game designs scribbled on paper somewhere.
If you don't have that you'll be competing with people that do, and with people that will kill themselves in their 20's to work unreasonable hours for shitty pay because it's their passion. It's all they've done since they were 10 years old and it's all they ever want to do.
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Doesn't matter if that requires breaking laws(airbnb) or stealing from naive people(shitcoins) they will do it, full stop. Once you understand that VC funds are literally robber barons who grouped together and gave themselves a new name it all makes a lot more sense.