1. Make an API call to your server with the build number of the app.
2. Have that API response control whether the "secret" features are available.
3. Only enable each build's secret features once it's passed review.
4. Profit?
No dynamic/interpreted code required.
And there are sufficient variations on this that I would guess it's reducible to the halting problem and thus undecidable.
The possibility of being banned from the Apple App Store ecosystem and/or legal reprisals is one way to deter unwanted behavior that can't be blocked through technical means.
How is the data fully private?