For the curious: https://SeekHiFi.com

Most people don’t like it. I think this is because they haven’t given it an honest try or considered the critical importance of being able to talk to yourself openly about what’s happening in your life and mind.

This would probably seem strange to a lot of people, or perhaps they believe they already do it with an internal monologue. Chances are pretty good that without a book to reflect on and the intent to do difficult things, your mind will readily distract itself and prevent you from doing difficult things that a journal might facilitate better.

For me it has made that personal exchange a lot more natural and easy. When I do foolish things I can talk to myself about it and figure out why I did it, what I can do differently next time, and feel better having put energy into doing better next time. When I do good things I can be grateful, consider what went right and why, and set intentions to do that more.

I also write about people I care about so I can be more intentional about how I’m present in their lives. I have ADHD and without being very intentional, I can figuratively and literally vanish from people’s lives due to getting in my head about things or being sucked into work or hobbies too much.

But I also know I’m happiest when I do things for people, I thrive on socializing despite being so good at being a hermit, and at the end of the day, I don’t think life is particularly worthwhile without a significant focus on being prosocial. So, I keep track of this stuff with the journal and make sure I’m staying on tracking with my goals and value system.

I can’t attribute all life changes to journaling, but I’d say it has made me a far better friend and parent since I started taking it seriously. I also know it has lead to me being better to myself, which is really important. Overall I’d say my personal affect is generally more constructive and positive, and I look at problems in my life as something I can engage with more now, whereas before I was far more avoidant.

There are other paths to similar practices, so journaling isn’t the only option. I highly recommend it to anyone willing to try, though. We should all be better at talking to ourselves. Our past, present, and even future selves.

In you 30s you're not a child, your biology tells you - now pick the target, we can't afford to be smart everywhere anymore.

So either you get very smart at something specific by focusing on it (or few specific areas if you have enough capacity) or not smart at all.

Another alternative is to keep soothing yourself with those silly "improve your diet, read books and stop drinking" kind of advice you find all over the internet.

From what I've seen, those golden handcuffs are usually gold-plated handcuffs with the same steel underneath.

Rather, leaders perform a delicate balancing act where they act the way in-group expects them to, least they will lose any power and importance. Because your peer group, nation, firm, profession etc. is not just a passive influence on the way you think and behave, it's also the fundamental tool you have to change the world. Outside philosophy or chess nobody can succeed alone, and even there people need opportunities and support.

You can see this balancing act most clearly with politicians, who must change their apparent convictions from one day to the next as circumstance unfold (for example, see Obama's flip on gay marriage once his wider voting public flipped). But it's true in almost any setting you can imagine, all success involves a political power game. Troublemakers, those who are too easily willing to go against the status quo, are culled early, even if they are technically right and even if most people know they are right.

A long walk on its own versus... a long walk where you've clicked the record button on Stava is for some reason a completely different experience. One is idle, meandering, and boring the other is (somehow psychologically) building something and fun.