If your "one build system to rule them all" was built in, say, Ruby, the Python ecosystem won't want to use it. No Python evangelist wants to tell users that step 1 of getting up and running with Python is "Install Ruby".
So you tend to get a lot of wheel reinvention across ecosystems.
I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. Yes, it's a lot of redundant work. But it's also an opportunity to shed historical baggage and learn from previous mistakes. Compare, for example, how beloved Rust's cargo ecosystem is compared the ongoing mess that is package management in Python.
A fresh start can be valuable, and not having a monoculture can be helpful for rapid evolution.
Pytorch multiprocessing queues work this way, but it is hard for the sender to ensure the data is already in shared memory, so it often has a copy. It is also common for buffers to not be reused, so that can end up a bottleneck, but it can, in principle, be limited by the rate of sending fds.