What's your "coworker didn't lock screen" procedure?

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Posted by u/vonunov 9 months ago

1. Screenshot the desktop

2. Make it the wallpaper

3. Hide icons

4. Autohide the taskbar and move it to the top

5. win+R "control mouse", cursor size all the way up, cursor speed all the way down, mouse trails all the way up

6. ctrl-alt-down

mindcrime · 9 months ago

1) keep walking and go about my business

BUT... back in the day when I engaged in juvenile pranks of this nature, I'd just open their email program, start a new email, put the CEO's email address in the TO field, and type "I resign" or something in the body, and then just walk away.

dcminter · 9 months ago

Like many others I don't do that.

Firstly it's low grade bullying. That may not be how you mean it, but you're not on the receiving end. Bullies often don't think they're bullies.

Secondly it normalises a third party using your computer. "Oh I was just pranking Jim" - sure, but were you? Or were you also granting yourself some privileges using Jim's authority? Who knows.

If you have zero tolerance for unlocked machines you should have zero tolerance for this too.

Yes, it's not that big a deal, and yes, I'm the kind of spoilsport who doesn't really like pranks at all. But still, cut it out.

vonunov · 8 months ago

Lol, I forgot I posted this.

Of course I don't run around actually causing work stoppage for my teammates, but "What do you fantasize about doing to your coworkers' computers when they forget to lock them that would be really funny if they didn't have stuff to get done" wouldn't have been quite as punchy.

mtmail · 9 months ago

You don't want to be known in the office as the person messing with coworker's computers. Next time a computer acts weird, a file is missing or settings changed they'll blame you.

HenryBemis · 9 months ago

Best/fun case: when I was contracting some years ago, if you had your laptop unlock someone would send an email to the project team "coffees are on me! let's pick them up after lunch", and they would pay (but everyone's daily rate was multiple hundreds of GBP per day, and that would pass as 'expense' so the total 40-50 pounds didn't hurt much).

Worse case: (same company) someone send an email to all infra team (including the VP) that "I'm stupid and I don't lock my laptop". That guy (the 'funny' one) was kicked out of the project/contract/building within the hour.

My friendly advice, lock it for them, when you see them again take them on the side and tel then "hey dude, lock that damn thing" and move on with your life.

neilsimp1 · 9 months ago

I've never worked in a place where this sort of thing would have been tolerated. In high school, sure. But not the workplace.

Sorry past me - I'm boring now.

tt_dev · 9 months ago

Great thread, hopefully some of us are still young and can provide an entertaining response

vonunov · 8 months ago

Sometimes it feels like nobody can have fun on the net anymore. Naturally I'm not for realsies¹ but I should have figured how this would go over, lol.

1. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44207778

ferguess_k · 9 months ago

I actually walked away a few times with my screen on and hoped someone did a prank on me. Never happened!

vonunov · 8 months ago

Bummer! I spent years across different jobs with a post-it note stuck to the bottom of my keyboard that said "hunter2" on it, and I never got any post-security-audit remarks on it, not once! :<

wojciii · 9 months ago

Nothing. Touching another persons computer is not acceptable.

I would complain to HR if anyone did something to mine ..