> Okay, let's tackle this roast based on the user's data. First, I need to pick the three most unusual bits. The user is using Safari 17.6 on Mac OS 10.15.7. Wait, macOS 10.15 is Catalina, which is pretty old now—like from 2019. That's a bit outdated, so that's unusual. Next, the screen resolution is 1024x1366. That's a taller screen than usual. Most common resolutions are wider, so maybe they're using an older iPad in portrait mode or a rotated display? That's quirky. Referrer is empty, meaning they came directly here. No referral site to make fun of, but I can joke about them typing the URL manually. Also, their location is Calgary, Canada. Maybe link the cold weather there to their outdated OS, like keeping things frozen in time. Combine all that into three concise sentences. Start with the outdated OS, then the screen resolution, mention the direct visit, and tie in the location with the OS. Make sure it's funny but not mean. Check the structure: three sentences, each targeting a different aspect. Let me put it all together.
> Roast: Ah, a Canadian Safari-saddled NPC from Calgary, still clinging to Mac OS 10.15 like it’s a Blockbuster membership, browsing on a screen taller than your mountains but somehow arriving here directly—did your dial-up finally finish loading the URL? (Three quirks: ancient OS, vertical screen ratio, empty referrer + location roast.)
It guessed correctly I’m using an iPad and maybe the resolution but somehow got the OS wrong (i.e. if I’m on an iPad I’m not using MacOS). I am still on iOS 17 so it got that I’m not on the latest but made a mistake since 10.15 is the latest MacOS release. The location is also way off.
While I'm incredibly glad we're getting open source LLMs with chain of thought, I'm not really impressed by its current use cases. LLMs are all same-y and it feels like we're getting loafs of cheesy language spam without much sci-fi future.
I expect for this kind of tech to have really novel use cases. For it to sit between me and the internet and remove the ads, nuke time wasting clickbait, and obliterate low-information irrelevant noise. For it to be my personal bodyguard that protects me from any and all forms of attention stealer.
I want this to be tech to give birth to an anti-Google, anti-social media algo, anti-advertiser terminator from the future. Something that torpedoes the previous paradigm and that does it so quickly that the old purveyors can't adjust in time.
It would be delightful if in 10 months from now, internet advertising no longer worked at all and that everyone adopted these same protections for themselves.
It seems like this tech is capable of doing it already.
Please someone make this. I want advertisers to pay me if they want access to my brain.
I've been working on exactly this. Great to know there's some demand for it.
It's now my daily driver for web access. It monitors for content I'm interested in (that's how I found your comment), handles all my searches and feeds, can dynamically adapt its interface, and is working on integrations to submit content for me so that I don't have to leave that interface to write these replies.
Hoping to release it early March but I'm a bit stuck on how to position it. I'm not a marketer and I think it'll just get drowned in the sea of "agent" slop.
Having a full-on buffer between yourself and the internet is a breath of fresh air but I have no idea how I would have found such a thing if I hadn't made it.
Maybe a curator or a bouncer or something. Open to suggestions if anyone has some.
> It would be delightful if in 10 months from now, internet advertising no longer worked at all
Internet advertising will work as long as the internet exists. Classic targeted advertising on the other hand will no longer work but all it means is that it will be much more subtle and you will struggle to tell it apart in a way that you don't nowadays. Sounds a far more dangerous alternative
> It would be delightful if in 10 months from now, internet advertising no longer worked at all and that everyone adopted these same protections for themselves.
My bet is that hosted LLMs will have advertising baked in and also understand you in a much deeper way so as to manipulate you even more effectively.
iPadOS’s Safari user agent identifies itself as macOS, that’s why. Prior to iPadOS it did contain the string iPad; that was removed. So it can’t tell if it’s an iPad or a Mac with a small vertical screen, although a human would consider the former more likely.
It is not fair to judge the model performance on those guesses, if you have a look at the website you will see that the model is being told those parameters (os, screen size, etc). The model is not guessing those. Only thing that it might be guessing is your location
"You spent 46 seconds lurking on Hacker News just to end up here with your four Chrome cores and Linux OS in the tech capital of San Jose—did you compile the courage to click? Your 8.1 Mbps downlink is almost as slow as your realization that "Blink" isn't a rave in Mountain View, and your zero touch points explain why you still type "sudo" to open your fridge."
> Your phone's so generic its model is just "K" like it’s still in witness protection, you’re browsing North Macedonia on a screen thinner than your country’s GDP, and your mystery referrer suggests you’re so lost even Google Maps gave up.
Very cute :) It might be worth adding to the context that Chrome on macOS reports as OS X 10.15.7 (Catalina) no matter what future version you're actually running. It seemed very confused to my other specs but running such an old OS.
btw, Chrome, Safari, and Firefox all froze their User-Agent strings at “Mac OS X 10.15” after running into web compatibility problems reporting “Mac OS X 11.0”. Some websites’ User-Agent parsers assumed there would never be an 11.0 version of macOS.
Websites can still query the actual macOS version using Chrome’s navigator.userAgentData API. Neither Safari nor Firefox implement that API at this time because it’s mostly redundant with navigator.userAgent and exposes additional browser and OS metadata that can be used for fingerprinting.
Roasting your Hacker News–refugee, Firefox-on-MacOS-Catalina-10.15-holding, DIY-screen-resolution-having (1512x982? Did you freehand that?) setup like Portland keeps its "quirky" reputation: aggressively outdated but convinced it’s still avant-garde.
Oh this is fun. It seems to be a bit puzzled by my setup, which is understandable since it's a Linux phone cosplaying as Android:
Okay, let's tackle this roast. First, I need to pick the three most unusual bits from the user's data. Looking at the info: The user is on Android 15, which is pretty new and not widely released yet. That's unusual. They're using Firefox on a mobile device with Linux x86_64 platform—wait, Android is Linux-based, but specifying x86_64 might be odd if most mobile devices are ARM. Also, the referrer is Hacker News, which is a good target for a joke. The screen dimensions are 540x1206, typical for a mobile, not too odd. Country is Spain (ES), region AN is Andalusia, city Cadiz. Maybe connect location with something else. So, the three unusual points: Android 15 (unreleased?), Linux x86_64 on a mobile (maybe mismatched), and coming from Hacker News. Need to connect location if using it. Since Cadiz is a coastal city in Spain, maybe link the outdated OS version with something there. Also, making fun of the referrer as a site where people pretend to know tech. Structure: Three sentences. First, Android 15 and pretending to be a dev. Second, Linux on mobile and Cadiz's ancient history. Third, Hacker News referrer and Firefox version. Keep it concise and funny.
bird judge
Roasting your Android 15 beta-testing, Linux-on-mobile hipster self: you’re browsing Hacker News (sigh) on Firefox 134 in Cádiz, a city older than your OS’s last kernel panic, yet somehow you’re the one still using a "mobile" device with zero touchpoints—did your stylus die in 2003?
Oh look, Mr. "I-type-URLs-manually-like-a-medieval-scribe" from Hackney, rocking a 1920x1200 screen just to flex that you need extra vertical pixels for your Linux terminal and crippling Firefox 134 FOMO. Eight CPU cores and zero referrer? Classic NPC behavior - even your internet history is as empty as your commitment to joining the Chrome cult.
Readit News
> Roast: Ah, a Canadian Safari-saddled NPC from Calgary, still clinging to Mac OS 10.15 like it’s a Blockbuster membership, browsing on a screen taller than your mountains but somehow arriving here directly—did your dial-up finally finish loading the URL? (Three quirks: ancient OS, vertical screen ratio, empty referrer + location roast.)
It guessed correctly I’m using an iPad and maybe the resolution but somehow got the OS wrong (i.e. if I’m on an iPad I’m not using MacOS). I am still on iOS 17 so it got that I’m not on the latest but made a mistake since 10.15 is the latest MacOS release. The location is also way off.
While I'm incredibly glad we're getting open source LLMs with chain of thought, I'm not really impressed by its current use cases. LLMs are all same-y and it feels like we're getting loafs of cheesy language spam without much sci-fi future.
I expect for this kind of tech to have really novel use cases. For it to sit between me and the internet and remove the ads, nuke time wasting clickbait, and obliterate low-information irrelevant noise. For it to be my personal bodyguard that protects me from any and all forms of attention stealer.
I want this to be tech to give birth to an anti-Google, anti-social media algo, anti-advertiser terminator from the future. Something that torpedoes the previous paradigm and that does it so quickly that the old purveyors can't adjust in time.
It would be delightful if in 10 months from now, internet advertising no longer worked at all and that everyone adopted these same protections for themselves.
It seems like this tech is capable of doing it already.
Please someone make this. I want advertisers to pay me if they want access to my brain.
It's now my daily driver for web access. It monitors for content I'm interested in (that's how I found your comment), handles all my searches and feeds, can dynamically adapt its interface, and is working on integrations to submit content for me so that I don't have to leave that interface to write these replies.
Hoping to release it early March but I'm a bit stuck on how to position it. I'm not a marketer and I think it'll just get drowned in the sea of "agent" slop.
Having a full-on buffer between yourself and the internet is a breath of fresh air but I have no idea how I would have found such a thing if I hadn't made it.
Maybe a curator or a bouncer or something. Open to suggestions if anyone has some.
Internet advertising will work as long as the internet exists. Classic targeted advertising on the other hand will no longer work but all it means is that it will be much more subtle and you will struggle to tell it apart in a way that you don't nowadays. Sounds a far more dangerous alternative
My bet is that hosted LLMs will have advertising baked in and also understand you in a much deeper way so as to manipulate you even more effectively.
Dead Comment
<sigh@Apple>
First time an LLM made me laugh
:sob: I'm getting roasted by an AI
You can get that ad infinitum at https://trashtalk.borg.games/ if your mom finally lets you go out to the Internet on your own (shameless self-promo).
Deleted Comment
I can't help but feel refreshingly anonymous
Websites can still query the actual macOS version using Chrome’s navigator.userAgentData API. Neither Safari nor Firefox implement that API at this time because it’s mostly redundant with navigator.userAgent and exposes additional browser and OS metadata that can be used for fingerprinting.
Roasting your Hacker News–refugee, Firefox-on-MacOS-Catalina-10.15-holding, DIY-screen-resolution-having (1512x982? Did you freehand that?) setup like Portland keeps its "quirky" reputation: aggressively outdated but convinced it’s still avant-garde.
Okay, let's tackle this roast. First, I need to pick the three most unusual bits from the user's data. Looking at the info: The user is on Android 15, which is pretty new and not widely released yet. That's unusual. They're using Firefox on a mobile device with Linux x86_64 platform—wait, Android is Linux-based, but specifying x86_64 might be odd if most mobile devices are ARM. Also, the referrer is Hacker News, which is a good target for a joke. The screen dimensions are 540x1206, typical for a mobile, not too odd. Country is Spain (ES), region AN is Andalusia, city Cadiz. Maybe connect location with something else. So, the three unusual points: Android 15 (unreleased?), Linux x86_64 on a mobile (maybe mismatched), and coming from Hacker News. Need to connect location if using it. Since Cadiz is a coastal city in Spain, maybe link the outdated OS version with something there. Also, making fun of the referrer as a site where people pretend to know tech. Structure: Three sentences. First, Android 15 and pretending to be a dev. Second, Linux on mobile and Cadiz's ancient history. Third, Hacker News referrer and Firefox version. Keep it concise and funny. bird judge
Roasting your Android 15 beta-testing, Linux-on-mobile hipster self: you’re browsing Hacker News (sigh) on Firefox 134 in Cádiz, a city older than your OS’s last kernel panic, yet somehow you’re the one still using a "mobile" device with zero touchpoints—did your stylus die in 2003?
location not redacted because it is wrong
I cried a little, this is too good.