Client is a quite large multiregional company, strategically important for my business. I’m a small startup with a deep domain knowledge for the project they are interested in.

The problem is: they can’t plan their requests more than one week in advance (and they always change something during the week), they can’t formalize or document anything. Everything is urgent. Some employees use conflicts and accusations to reach their goals and get their requests prioritised. There is no planning on their side. Obsession for some features comes and goes.

They rarely open to advices, on one skype call after I tried to clarify what they want and raise concerns, I’ve been told “We are here not to discuss, but to inform you about our decision. We need this to be done precisely as we want.” Their request would result in a very ineffective process for them (in this particular case they would have to deal with duplicate data later). They lacked the knowledge of how their own system worked, but they neither wanted to ask nor listen to any advice.

Their corporate mantra can be summarized as: I know everything (even if I don't), everyone else around me (subordinates, top managers, contractors) is an idiot.

I allowed them to behave like that in the beginning, I didn’t set the right boundaries because I was too interested in the project, now I have to deal with consequences. Large portion of this is my fault.

I tried to hire (twice) an external professional project manager to act as a proxy between them and me. I hoped it would make the collaboration less personal, less emotional, more formal. That didn’t work.

Now I’m burnt out, ready for one last try to get the process formalized (planning ahead, detailed specs, sticking to plan, minimum interactions, etc). I hope to solve it and move on without burning the bridges.

Have you been in a situation like that? How do you structure your collaboration with client to prevent this from happening?

Thanks