I think I'm missing something here. What did he have to gain from doing this? I understand that he was able to incur large amounts of debt under someone else's identity, but at that point he effectively was Woods. He was married under that name, he was employed under that name... If the authorities ever came looking for the Woods that incurred all the debt, it would be him that paid.
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livinginfear commented on Why You're Still Single (2023) thezvi.substack.com/p/dat... · Posted by u/walterbell
You are right, my statement was too extreme, borne from frustrations over the degradation of many online services by profit-motives.
I'm sure online dating platforms, so long as they get user profiles in front of user eyeballs, are inevitably going to lead to people getting into relationships.
Much like with Facebook or, say, news media, the algorithm has a specific purpose and, as we see rather often, that purpose is not "make the user happy", it is "keep the user engaged by any means". So, for a news media website, the purpose is no longer "deliver the best news", but "deliver the most engagement". And that process can be automated by changing content subtly and measuring again, until the content pulls the most attention.
I guess with Tinder, that's not necessarily how it works? Do they have ads on there? No idea. But again, I wouldn't be surprised if there is some kind of data collection / trading going on. But who knows, I have no evidence of this and wouldn't want to badmouth Tinder just because it's trendy to bash big platforms. Please consider this an attempt at making a more balanced comment :)
I appreciate your response. I apologise if my initial response seemed too hostile. I've seen the claim made a handful of times on Hacker News that Tinder somehow games the results to maximise engagement. Admittedly I've been waiting since the last thread about Tinder to refute this point. I apologise for targeting you in doing so.
livinginfear commented on Why You're Still Single (2023) thezvi.substack.com/p/dat... · Posted by u/walterbell
No.[1]
Also, I do not appreciate the insinuation that I might be mentally ill. What is it with that, anyway? My conviction is the result of thorough deliberation; if anything, attempts at handwaving such as yours especially makes my conviction ever harder.
Your conviction is in contradiction with perhaps the most strongly held compulsion of everyone, everywhere, or that has ever existed. That alone should give reason to question it. You sound like you're motivated by spite.
livinginfear commented on Why You're Still Single (2023) thezvi.substack.com/p/dat... · Posted by u/walterbell
I really doubt that a small group of men now hoards 70% of the women.
No one hoards women. If the top 10% of men had sexual access to more than one woman at a time, without committing to any of them in a monogamous relationship, that alone would be enough to change the dating landscape significantly. Assuming that the women involved weren't in a different relationship at the time.
livinginfear commented on Why You're Still Single (2023) thezvi.substack.com/p/dat... · Posted by u/walterbell
> Guys nowadays work 5 times harder to get a woman 20 times shittier than their grandfather got 50 years ago
This makes no sense at all. How would this even happen, when there's roughly one woman for every man?
Social customs surrounding sex inside marriage, or even sex inside a relationship have changed over time. Successful men have sexual access to more than one woman (If that's what they want). Sure, eventually people settle down and pair off, but before that happens the market is completely different.
livinginfear commented on Why You're Still Single (2023) thezvi.substack.com/p/dat... · Posted by u/walterbell
Speaking as a guy who doesn't want a relationship, every single instance of someone or something asking me to marry (eg: this article) only makes my conviction to refuse even harder.
I can't wait until I am naturally ejected out from the mating market I never even wanted to participate in.
Have you considered talking to a therapist about this?
livinginfear commented on Why You're Still Single (2023) thezvi.substack.com/p/dat... · Posted by u/walterbell
I was one of those people who got into online dating just at the transition from "Only weirdo losers do online dating" -> "The only way to meet anyone is online dating".
So for about two years, I was there, on OKC as sooooo many brand new people discovered it, in a huge city, in my mid-twenties. It was an incredible time. I met so, so many interesting people, who were so similar to me. I couldn't believe it. It was all free, too.
No lasting relationships ever came from it. I met my partner of 10 years at work eventually.
I've never been on Tinder or any other online dating platform, but it sounds like the industry (it is now an industry...) has gone through the same cycle of VC-driven monetisation, removing all incentive for the platform to function correctly in the user's interest, much like any big platform nowadays.
So, I guess we'll need some kind of online dating fediverse to fix this. I'd recommend copying exactly how OKC worked. It was the best approach I've ever seen. But also the only one ;)
> removing all incentive for the platform to function correctly in the user's interest, much like any big platform nowadays.
People keep saying this, but it's just not true. Tinder does function in many people's interest. I had a lot of success using Tinder, and eventually met my wife on there. People keep implying there's some kind of hidden algorithm at play that somehow pairs you up with people who are "Okay, but not great" to keep you hooked on the app. How the hell would it manage such an amazing feat?
livinginfear commented on Why You're Still Single (2023) thezvi.substack.com/p/dat... · Posted by u/walterbell
Lots of tech people seem to dislike Tinder. I want to present an argument in favour of the 'swipe and match' model: If your personality is 'stronger' than your appearance, in terms of attracting a partner, this model is actually highly optimal. Think of optimising a database query to maximise selectivity: You want to narrow the search space as quickly as possible. If finding a partner who is physically attracted to you is hard, then everyone who actually does match with you has cleared that hurdle. Lots of tech people seem to idealise OkCupid, but it's really a better use of your effort to swipe/match than sending personalised messages to many people on OkCupid, only for a large amount of recipients to reject you on account of your appearance.
The author, William Langewiesche, should really be ashamed about what they wrote: comparing the state (and all the services it provides) to the Camorra.
This is very poor and ignorant writing, from somebody that clearly hasn't spent any significant time in those places.
Also...
> "It has been a part of life in Naples for centuries—far longer than the fragile construct called Italy has even existed..."
Fragile construct? Terrible writing.