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geverett commented on The case for having roommates even when you can afford to live alone   supernuclear.substack.com... · Posted by u/surprisetalk
duttish · 25 days ago
Two thoughts

I think a larger house like she's living in makes it a lot easier to mitigate "the bad room mate" problem mentioned in a lot of comments. They likely have some filtering and process to kick someone out if they turn out weird. And recruitment is hopefully easier if you have 4 other people looking for a 5th than posting an ad somewhere.

This does seem like a potential solution for the male loneliness epidemic. I think it would be harder to check out if you're around other people. Their house seems _very_ women-styled with cooking dance parties, twerking in the garden and the ingredients. But that's just one house, each house has their own style.

Before I met my partner I looked into communal living spaces, and if this doesn't work out I might do so again, and give it a shot. I don't think living on my own is good for me long term. I get too isolated.

geverett · 24 days ago
Author of the post here - fwiw all the houses I've lived in have had a good gender mix, though it's true none of the men wanted to join for the hip hop dance workout. In general though the men have been the better cooks!

I wanted to note that a lot of houses I've lived in have had couples. Two of our housemates in PR were a married couple who rented out the apartment they owned to come live with us. The husband was more extroverted than the wife and loved the company - and the wife loved that we kept him entertained and she got the room to herself more often :)

All this to say I simply think it's great to live with (good) roommates, whether you're male, female, single, coupled, or anything else.

geverett commented on The case for having roommates even when you can afford to live alone   supernuclear.substack.com... · Posted by u/surprisetalk
wussboy · a month ago
I think it's important to call out the difference between "what I prefer" and "what is good for me". We understand this fully in many aspects of our lives (from "My body prefers to do heroin" to "I prefer not to exercise but I do it because it's good for me").

I see a lot of comments here along the lines of "I prefer to live alone because roommates are a pain in the ass", but I think there might be a lot of value to doing this because it's good for you. Living with other people forces us to corral our worst tendencies, to break out of virtual worlds to engage in the real one, to form bonds that will force us to grow and change.

I think it's strange that our preference in this area, but not many others, could be so dominant over what is good for us.

geverett · 24 days ago
So much this! Author of the post here - I've been noodling on writing one on the University of Chicago study 'Mistakenly Seeking Solitude' (https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-28833-001) which I came across in the also-great Atlantic article on the Anti-Social Century (https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2025/02/america...)

Basically: a team of researchers asked people if they'd be happier on their morning commute if they interacted with strangers or kept to themselves. Most said they'd be happier keeping to themselves. Then the researchers ran an experiment where a group were told to keep to themselves, a group was told to interact with a stranger for as long as possible, and a control group was supposed to do whatever came up. Those who were forced to interact with a stranger came away most happy, and those that kept to themselves were least happy.

We are social beings - it is how we have been able to survive as a species. And yet, given the choice, we often choose to isolate. I think people would be happier and healthier if we made more of an effort to combat that tendency.

geverett commented on Airlines are charging solo passengers higher fares than groups   thriftytraveler.com/news/... · Posted by u/_tqr3
geverett · 3 months ago
Tbh this makes perfect sense. As someone who worked in airline revenue management for 11 years, it always seemed a little odd that the sales tactics people use everywhere else - group discounts, BOGO, etc - weren't being used by airlines (yes, group bookings could often get discounts, but usually for much larger groups).

What's remarkable here is that airlines waited this long to do it. Sad news for me as a usually solo traveler who prizes flexibility, but I understand airlines wanting to prioritize groups and more locked-in fares.

geverett commented on Why is it so hard to get families to live in community houses?   supernuclear.substack.com... · Posted by u/caser
bombcar · 3 months ago
You can have quite a close knit community in single family homes - I've known and been parts of neighborhoods where everyone wandered into everyone's house, but you'd never know that looking at the plats.

Communal areas like a shared kitchen immediately fall to the tragedy of the commons, unless there's a HOA or similar that directly pays someone to maintain it.

geverett · 3 months ago
I've lived in community for 10 years in a variety of different houses/complexes (including ones where I've had my own apartment and there's been a communal kitchen). We've almost never had issues with cleanliness. It really depends on who you live with!
geverett commented on Why is it so hard to get families to live in community houses?   supernuclear.substack.com... · Posted by u/caser
crazygringo · 3 months ago
Yup. Disagreements over tidiness, food, kitchen usage, what is appropriate for children, the list goes on and on. Different families come from different cultures, have different values, etc. It's incredibly difficult to find a bunch of other families you're "on the same page with" where you actually want to be co-parenting with and hanging out with all the time.

It's one thing when you all grow up together. There's a baseline level of compatibility and trust that can make it all work. But in today's world where you often have to move every five years for a job, or for a better school, etc., spontaneously joining groups of families and having it "just work" is a tall order.

geverett · 3 months ago
I'm reminded of this Atlantic article that says 'You can try to micromanage your child’s care—whether they eat sugar, whether they get screen time, whether someone insists that a child apologize after snatching another kid’s toy—or you can have reliable community help with child care. But you can’t have both.'

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2025/01/intensive...

Personally I'm ok with flexing my standards a bit for the sake of having a great community - I'm on the cleaner side but I don't mind doing a little extra tidying as long as it feels like a balance. I've lived with my friends and their kids and while we don't have the 100% the same parenting styles we all respect what the others bring to the table.

geverett commented on How to start a school with your friends   prigoose.substack.com/p/h... · Posted by u/geverett
geverett · 4 months ago
A coliving house in NYC started a 'university' that has taught thousands of students in the last two years.
geverett commented on Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood   supernuclear.substack.com... · Posted by u/surprisetalk
msapaydin · 5 months ago
Greetings from Istanbul. Unfortunately what you describe in your blog post sounds impossible to me in (at least many districts of) Istanbul. The only place to "socialize" in a neighborhood is to sit at coffee shops.
geverett · 5 months ago
I lived on a street in Cihangir for three years. In the walk to and from work I'd pass several shops and cafes, and got to know all of the owners and regulars.
geverett commented on Stoop Coffee: A simple idea transformed my neighborhood   supernuclear.substack.com... · Posted by u/surprisetalk
nickvec · 5 months ago
no problem :) just curious, what neighborhood of SF are you in?
geverett · 5 months ago
I'm the editor of Supernuclear, not Patty who wrote the post. I don't think Patty wants her address shared but some other commenters have triangulated the general neighborhood if you feel like reading through!

u/geverett

KarmaCake day373May 9, 2012View Original