> So it’s your task to make others understand you

There is another task that is just as important. You need to find people who are capable of understanding you. It may sound like a cart/horse issue where you need to understand enough about yourself to find people who are receptive. That my be true to a degree. But no amount of self-understanding is going to change how people respond to you if who you are is not comprehensible to those people.

As an example, imagine you are a straight man with many close friends who have known you for a long time. And at some point, you begin to grapple with the idea that you're not straight, but maybe bisexual. It is possible that some of your old straight friends will have the capacity to listen and understand and respond in ways that make you feel known. But it's not necessarily likely. And if those are the only people you are close to, no amount of self-knowledge is going to change their capacity to make you feel seen and heard.

You're gonna need some new friends.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage_in_the_Middl...

There are two, more obvious, reasons for layoffs.

1) The valuation bubble bursting is a big factor. Both high valuations and hiring decisions were made with a certain amount of growth in mind. Now that it's clear that the old level of growth is unrealistic going forward, valuations are coming down to reflect that, as is employee head count. Additionally, employees hired at the sky-high valuations are going to be disgruntled unless they're "made whole". Easier to just let most of them go and top-off the ones you want to keep.

2) There are two types of tech companies. The first is a company like Google, where their tech enables a step-function increase in human productivity. Google Search gave people a super power they never had before. This type of company is extremely valuable as they can capture the value of the productivity they unlock. The second type of tech company is something like WeWork. This type of tech company is essentially a digital version of something that existed previously. These companies can gain traction due to the convenience factor unlocked by the digital transformation, but there isn't much extra value to capture. When interest rates were 0, VCs and the market as a whole were valuing these companies the same as true tech companies. Now that investors are more discerning with their money, the valuations of such companies are popping. The valuations are lower because the true value of the company is low. If you have a low value company, you don't need thousands of employees all earning 6+ figures to run it.

I have hired (interviewing team member, or hiring manager) hundreds of engineers.

If you are hearing "let me know if I can help" (number 5) you might be doing something wrong. You should be hearing some version of " I will talk to my boss" or "I will call for you" or "XXX person I know is looking".

I have a list of about 30 people who if they call me I'm going to go out of my way to get them a job. That means make a spot for them on my team. Or I will reach into the non overlapping parts of our networks to see if someone is hiring.

Im going to do this because they are good, because they don't suck, because they will get the job done. They will make me look good as the person who brought them in/onboard.

Those of us who survived the bubble did so on hard work and a network. We brought along the people we thought were the best, who we got along with, who would get the job done.

Its the new year, it is the perfect excuse to figure out who your network is, and what they can do for you. Make a list of folks you know, call them up, tell them your thinking of changing jobs. If you don't hear a lot of "send me your resume"/"is your linked/site in up to date" then you need to make some changes.