So people have always told me I look angry when I'm focusing, and I figured "Yeah I look like every other engineer when they're focusing".
Today a friend walked by a cafe where I was working. He saw me, sent a pic and asked me if everything was OK. I looked furious, which I don't understand, because I was being super productive and am a reasonably happy person.
Who else looks like they're going to war, when they're writing code?
This is a huge reason why I support WFH policies and personally take advantage of them. I don't personally feel the need to "fix" myself; doing so would involve putting on an artifice in order to placate people whose impression of me is founded on incorrect assumptions. It would make me feel like I was walking on eggshells, and it would take up precious mental bandwidth which would be better spent on the work problem at hand.
WFH means management of my facial expression is one less thing I have to worry about, since people can only see my Zoom avatar at best, and usually only see the section of the laptop screen that I'm sharing. Counter to what anti-WFH advocates say, it actually makes me more likely to form close bonds with my coworkers, since they're less likely to jump to conclusions about my demeanor and personality if they aren't privy to my facial expression.
A lot of times it can be all over somebody's face and body language.
Self awareness is hard. I used to take selfies to help neutrally assess my own mood. A lot of the time I was feeling something and unaware, but I could tell from the photo.
Nevertheless, your point still stands- it is indeed incredibly unfortunate, for the reasons you mentioned.
While I am waiting, I often retreat into my own thoughts, mentally processing some difficult problem or trying to plan out a project in my head. When I am thinking hard I adopt a "focus" face with a slight frown with lips pressed together.
The servers must be reading my face as annoyance or anger.
I always say thanks and smile when I collect my order so they know I wasn't unhappy, especially with them.
I guess most people are more "in the moment" and maintain a neutral or friendly face.
I dont know if i can even work in an office anymore without scaring people. I developed a habit of cursing or mumbling under my breath. haha
I've since improved the faces that I make, and I think it helps my mood. It's similar to the effect of how if you smile and nod while eating something gross you acquire the taste faster :)
The other goes the super focused borderline angry looking face when she focuses. We actually know she’s giving it her all when she’s giving that face.
If she’s goofing off and just having fun then she smiles.
Unfortunately judges don’t like it so much.
We’re going on 10 years of trying to get her to smile during a routine with no success.
She also can’t smile on command for photos. It’s quite cringe worthy.
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So maybe you don't want to "fix" yourself for others, but you might consider it for yourself.
But it is a weak argument for WFH by itself, don't you think?
Mentioned in my Quantified Self talk here at 1m 15s: https://vimeo.com/42239564#t=1m15s
This led to the development of LifeSlice, which lets anyone do the same, and I now have s as decade of 30-min periodic selfies. Not sure what I’ll do with them all but it’s interesting to see myself age. :)
I don’t look angry, but can confirm that I’m at best expressionless when concentrating at the computer.
http://wanderingstan.github.io/Lifeslice/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21665102/#:~:text=Pandiculat....
And makes me wonder whether a simple computer vision algorithm could classify frequency of pandiculation in the work and we could begin making correlations between pandiculation and perception of mood valence.
For others curious, this page gave a better ELI5 definition for me: https://somaticmovementcenter.com/pandiculation-what-is-pand...
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nowadays I'm very often a flaming angry coder but that's real anger. It feels the same as when you get angry to press the fire button really fast in a video game, kind of thing. It's been a major issue for decades now as if there are any other people around, I have to really watch my mannerisms and mumblings because there have been negative outcomes from it.
I've also sprinted with other devs who do the same thing. Plus I think it occurs in other fields, like my old drum teacher when I watch him in videos, when he's going for some dramatic drum thing, his face turns to total anger and it is definitely some kind of visceral animal thing you tap into when trying to succeed in a tight space.
I'm the same, I completely control my mannerisms and usual expletives when coding near people because... It can get fire-y for no reason, I know that it's just work and code but my inner monologue needs to vent out each frustration I find. I learned that it can appear quite toxic for an outsider, they don't live in my head to know that saying "this fucking bullshit shouldn't have been done this way" is not a judgment on anyone's character or technical abilities, I'm very aware that crappy code was done under constraints (skill level, time crunch, so on and so forth) but somehow I do need to be angry about it to push myself around to fix stuff that doesn't seem right.
It can look aggressive and whiny at the same time and I definitely want to avoid people having this impression of me because I truly don't care so much, it's just work and I kinda gotta do it this way when alone to keep myself in it.
Guitarists facials abound - (and anything you can watch with Steve Vai playing will show even more) - https://youtu.be/CqdL36VKbMQ
I don’t care how I look while focusing on my computer screen, maybe that’s a feature. But I do mind how I look when I’m just existing in the world.
I now hold my face consciously in an ever so light smile and it has made a big difference. Especially when entering social situations like a bar or party. Damn you, Resting bitch face!
That sort of ignorance is death on a bun for software innovation in MBA heavy organizations where non-technical project/product managers rule the roost.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Resting%20Mu...
My daughter asked me what I do at work all day last night, and I told her I push a lot of buttons, which (predictably) led to 1000 questions about what buttons, what order, why, etc. From now on I'm just going to say this. :)
Beyond perception management there's the issue of avoiding unnecessary interruptions. It can be hard to define what's necesary and what isn't. Rarely does it have anything to do with what someone is interrupting you for but instead, it is (once again) it's perception management.
There is a context-switching contest that comes from being interrupted and it can be hard to get back in the zone. So you want to avoid people interrupting you to ask something that would quite literally be the first link on a trivial Google search.
[1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kafq7yrKAOQ
I would love to be able to say “do something about it” when they goes on their rants but american culture is too polite. Most of their contributions to team meetings is “docked has this new thing that could be helpful” and various other name-drops. Idk if the rest of the ppl are fooled or its just a thing we put up with.
It wasn't my team so I didn't cause a fuss but from that point onwards I made sure that he wasn't on the critical path for anything I cared about.
In hindsight the mismanagement on that team probably led to the exit 5 years later being $100-200 million lower than it could have been. But the company was super stingy with shares so I'm not sure it would have been worth my time rocking the boat.
In other hindsight I might have realised why I look angry while I'm at work.